Custody Battle Jokes

The judge asks the woman: "Why do you feel you deserve custody?"

The woman says: "I brought that child into this world. My child literally came out of me! That is why I deserve custody."

The judge nods his head, and says "That is a simple and logical reason. It makes sense."

The... read more

Hey mother and father were in a heated custody battle for their son. The judge asks the little boy,"Do you want to go live with your mother?". Little boy replied,"No she beats me." The judge says "Oh,do you want to live with your dad?". Once again the little boy replied " No, he beats me." so the ju... read more

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court in Italy,
but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge
that since she had brought the children into this world,
she should retain custody of them. ... read more

A mother and father are sitting with a judge during a custody battle

Mom: Sir, I went through hours of pain and suffering to bring my daughter into this world. I should have full custody.

Judge: Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Father: When you put money into a vendi... read more

His wife doesn’t want him, and his mother won’t take him back.

Husband and wife are fighting in divorce court for the custody of their child.

The judge asked the mother to make her case as to why she deserves to have custody.
The mother puts on a passionate plea and shocks everyone in the court room. When she is done the judge turns to the father... read more

A Man and his wife are in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get
custody of the child. The wife jumped up and said: "Your Honour!I carried the child for
nine months and brought the child into the world with pain and labour.She should be in my
custody". The judge turns to... read more

Eventually one of them will lose, and have to keep him

Then they've had a hell of a custody battle over Poland.