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Cowboys Jokes

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Two cowboys are out riding the range and talking about their favorite sex positions

The first cowboy says the “rodeo” position is his favorite.

The second cowboy says he’s never heard of it before and asks how to do it.

The first cowboy responds, “Well, you mount your lady from behind then reach down and grab her tits. Then you whisper ‘these feel almost as good as ...

Cowboys don’t roll joints.

They tumble weed.

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Three cowboys (nsfw)

Three cowboys are sitting around a fire boasting about how tough they are.

The cowboy from Oklahoma says, "I was driving cattle last year, and was bit on the ass by a rattler. Finished the cattle drive. Took three days before I got the doc to look at me. Didn't shed a tear."

The cowbo...

Blonds and Blind Cowboys

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely...

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Three cowboys are settling down after a long day herding cattle.

The first cowboy says, "You know, it takes a real man's man to do this job. I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why? just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second cowboy not t...

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Three cowboys sitting around a campfire

Two are arguing who is tougher.

"Last week I rode a 2000lb bull it bucked me off so I punched it one time and it turned into steaks" said the first.
"That's nothing, last time I had sex I used a live rattler for a condom" boasted the second.

The third said nothing, and continued qui...

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians

So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

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Two cowboys walk into a bar and sit down for a drink.

A woman sitting next to them drinking her martin starts choking on her olive.

One cowboy says to the other cowboy, "I'm going to help that there woman." He looks at her and says, "Are you choking?" And she nods yes. "Do you want me to help you?" Again she nods yes.

With that, the cowbo...

How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?

They say, "NiHowdy!"

Cowboys are the best navigators.

Cowboys used to put a lantern on their saddles at night to find

the trail when they were far from home.


This was the start of "Saddle Light Navigation."

How do German Cowboys greet each other?

Audi.

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3 Cowboys NSFW

Three cowboys sat around a campfire, all exchanging tall tales about how tough they all were.

The first cowboy says “I’m the toughest of the bunch. I was out in the tall grass, looking for a good spot to take a piss. All the sudden this snake appears. And you can see in its eyes, it’s out fo...

Female Cowboys fans

Why is it considered safe to date a girl who’s a Dallas Cowboys fan?

Because she will never expect a ring!

Why do cowboys always ride horses?

Because they’re far too heavy to carry!

Two cowboys are lost in the dessert,

They haven’t eaten in days and are close to death. Suddenly one see a tree covered in bacon. ‘We’re saved’ he cry’s ‘a bacon tree.’ and he runs towards it. He is shot to death.

It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

Two cowboys were patrolling the border between Wyoming and Utah.

Two cowboys were patrolling the border between Wyoming and Utah, one from each state. In the trail ahead they see a shining object so the cowboy from Utah jumps off his horse excitedly and picks it up. He has found a genie's lamp so he gives it a rub and the genie pops out. The genie says, "Since th...

A new car has been launched especially for American cowboys

The Audi Partner.

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I call my dick "the Dallas Cowboys"

Because it can't last a day without getting beat, it doesn't have any rings on it, and it disappoints everybody who wants to look at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two cowboys

Two cowboys are riding across the prairie. One says to the other:

* Joe, I'll bet you a hundred dollars that you won't eat my shit.
* I will, he says.

They made a bet. Joe ate it, Bill had to lay out a hundred dollars. They kept bouncing. Joe was feeling bad for himself, so he say...

What do ghost cowboys wear?

BoOoOts

The cowboy preacher

A cowboy preacher walks into a bar and orders a sasparilla. "So tell me a little about your cowboy church," the bartender says. "Like do the cowboys believe in heaven and hell or what?" "Well we do believe in life after death," the cowboy preacher says. "We call it reintarnation."

Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?

A: Turn off the XBox.

Where do Viking Cowboys go when they die?

Y'allhalla.

Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple Stirrups.

The NFL should start showing Dallas Cowboys games on the history channel

Because their fans always love to talk about the past

Two cowboys are horseback riding

Two cowboys, one from Texas and one from Arkansas are riding their horses when they come across a sheep with it's head stuck in a barbed wire fence. The Cowboy from Texas gets off his horse, gets behind the sheep and just goes to town. When he finishes he jumps back on his horse and asks the cowbo...

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Three cowboys

There were these three cowboys sitting around a campfire, each bragging about who was the toughest.
The first said he had caught a rattlesnake by it's tail and tied it in a knot as fast as a blink.
The second said he snapped the horns off all his bulls by hand.
The third just sat quietly as...

Why don't cowboys make good lovers?

Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two cowboys are sitting in a bar, and bragging.

After finishing his glass of whisky, the first cowboy says to the second one while pointing at the window: "See this bucket of flower on the other side of the road, I can shoot at all the flowers faster than you can blink".

The other cowboy, denied: "That's impossible! The fastest in the Wes...

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Why do cowboys put their name on the back of their belt?

So the trucker knows who he is fucking.

Two cowboys were riding through a canyon.

From far off they heard the sound of drumming. One of them said, "I don't like the sound of those drums." And a distant voice called out "He's not our regular drummer!"

Why aren't cowboys circumcised?

So they have a place to put their chewing tobacco when they're eating.

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Tough Cowboys

Three cowboys are sitting around the campfire after a long day on the plains.

The first cowboy says, "I'm the toughest man in the west, I once took three arrows in my back and rode 2 days through Indian infested badlands to get help."

The second cowboy says, "Bah, I'm the toughest man ...

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