This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of cowboys on a cattle drive were sitting by their fire in the middle of the night

... when a bearded stranger wearing bear-skins galloped up in a cloud of dust. He was riding a longhorn bull with a brass ring through his nose.

He jumped off , punched the bull in the head to knock it out, came to the campfire, and emptied a hot pan of beans straight into his mouth then wash...

Why don't cowboys make good lovers?

Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From an old cowboy who frequents my watering hole (hopefully not too country for y'all)

A woman from New York dreams of one day exploring the wild west. After a year of saving and pinching pennies she finally has enough money to make her dreams come true.

After an exciting three weeks she returns home and meets with her girlfriend for drinks.

Her girlfriend asks "How wa...

Want to hear a joke about the Dallas Cowboys?

The Dallas cowboys logo isnt a logo, its a rating

(Credit: unknown memer)

Two cowboys are on the edge of a cliff when they hear the sound of wardrums.

One cowboy looks at the other and says, “I don’t like the sound of those war drums.”
From below, they hear somebody shout, “He’s not our regular drummer!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two cowboys are sitting in a bar, and bragging.

After finishing his glass of whisky, the first cowboy says to the second one while pointing at the window: "See this bucket of flower on the other side of the road, I can shoot at all the flowers faster than you can blink".

The other cowboy, denied: "That's impossible! The fastest in the Wes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Favorite Norm MacDonald joke I heard live

PREFACE: Several years ago Norm was doing standup in Vegas. it was at the South Point casino, a little ways off the strip. At the same time there was a rodeo going on as well. Forget the name of the rodeo but it was advertised as being LGBT friendly. So thus it was known as the "gay rodeo"
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy walks into a saloon...

A cowboy walks into a saloon, goes to the bar, and orders a whiskey. Then he takes his colt from the holster and shoots all the bottles of whiskey at the bar with one bullet. He turns to the bartender and says: "They call me Colt-Bill".

The second cowboy comes, goes to the pool table, takes ...

Two cowboys are stranded in the desert...

One cowboy sees a tree covered in bacon in the distance. He gets all excited and runs towards the bacon tree... As he reaches the bacon tree he gets shot to death. It turns out it wasn't a bacon tree... It was a hambush

Cowboys don’t roll joints

They tumble weed

Two cowboys were riding through a canyon and from far off they heard the sound of drumming.

One of them said, "I don't like the sound of those drums." And a distant voice called out "He's not our regular drummer!"

Tornado warning in Texas!!!

Everyone evacuate to the Cowboys Stadium! No chance of a touchdown there

I saw a sad Dallas Cowboys fan at the bar, so I bought him a beer and asked him what's wrong...

"See, it's like this, sir... I found a lamp at the beach, an' when I rubbed it, a big genie appeared in a cloud of smoke. It really was sumpthin', I tells ya. Anyhow, He says 'You have three wishes'... and well, I'm not good at thinkin' on my feet, and under pressure, so I kinda said 'Gee, I wish ...

What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.

Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple Stirrups.

Two cowboys are riding along on their horses.

They soon get tired, and are miles away from home after getting lost. They find a near by tree, tie up their horses, and sleep, completely forgetting they have no food and little water.

The next morning they are famished, finally realizing they have no food. On says to the other, “We can kill...

Two cowboys facing each other:

- I have the fastest hand in the whole Wild West!

- I have a girlfriend!

Two cowboys are riding the range on a bitterly cold day when one of them vaults out of the saddle and picks up a piece of a frozen cow pat.

He rubs it on his mouth for a moment and then throws it away. As he remounts, his pard gives him an odd look, so he grunts "Chapped lips".

"I see," says his pard. "That helps 'em heal, does it?"

"Nope," says the first cowboy, "but it sure stops me lickin' them."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three cowboys

There were these three cowboys sitting around a campfire, each bragging about who was the toughest.
The first said he had caught a rattlesnake by it's tail and tied it in a knot as fast as a blink.
The second said he snapped the horns off all his bulls by hand.
The third just sat quietly as...

Two cowboys were in an old west bar getting drunk

There’s a spittoon that everyone has been using throughout the night to spit their chewing tobacco into. One cowboy challenges the other one to swallow a mouthful from the spittoon for $100.

The other cowboy agrees and tilts the spittoon to his lips. He takes a big gulp as everyone starts t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.

One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy.

"What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her t*ts, and whisper i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Cowboys NSFW

Three cowboys sat around a campfire, all exchanging tall tales about how tough they all were.

The first cowboy says “I’m the toughest of the bunch. I was out in the tall grass, looking for a good spot to take a piss. All the sudden this snake appears. And you can see in its eyes, it’s out fo...

What do you call it after cowboys eat beans at high noon?

A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.

(Don’t be mean. Inspired by my 2 month old.)

A headline from the Dallas Morning News

Dallas Morning News - A 15 year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with chil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 cowboys are sitting around a campfire bragging about all the adventures they’ve had over the years.

The first cowboy says, “I’ve gotta be the toughest cowboy out there. Just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and killed 3 men and I single handedly wrestled that bull to the ground.”

The second cowboy says, “that’s nothing. About 2 weeks ago I found this huge rattlesnake, so I grabb...

Washington Football is crushing the allas Cowboys.

Yeah it's allas, cuz they go no D.

How do German Cowboys greet each other?

Audi.

How do German cowboys say hello?

Haudi.

Never by a blanket from the Dallas Cowboys secondary...

...they can't cover anybody!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cake day joke: toughest cowboys

First cowboy says, "I'm the toughest sumbitch in these here parts. Yesterday I grabbed me the meanest bull and threw his ass down, balls and all, with my left hand into this here dirt. Pinned him fer 25 seconds without breaking a sweat."

The second cowboy looks up from the fire. "Impressive, ...

When do cowboys like to smoke weed?

High noon.

What do cowboys call midnight

High Moon

Two cowboys are horseback riding

Two cowboys, one from Texas and one from Arkansas are riding their horses when they come across a sheep with it's head stuck in a barbed wire fence. The Cowboy from Texas gets off his horse, gets behind the sheep and just goes to town. When he finishes he jumps back on his horse and asks the cowbo...

How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?

A tractor beam

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.