Clearance Jokes

Sorry, no reef funds.

At that point, it's already 50% off.

It wasn't very good bang for the buck.

So this Newfie goes ice fishing.

He drills the hole, sits down, and puts his line in. Now he’s sitting there and he hears this ominous voice,
“There’s no fish down there”

Puzzled, the Newfie gets up, carries his things a ways away. He drills the hole, sits down, and puts his line i... read more

Because they were going to Gitmo

They're both liquidating.

I was fretting when I saw most of the stock had sold out. Luckily the owner pulled some strings for me!

A gynecologist was bored with his job and decided he wanted a new career. He went back to college and decided to become a mechanic. After aching most of his courses, he found himself at the final exam. For his final exam, he has to rebuild an engine and reinstall it in the car. He completed the task... read more

An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due ... read more

Does that make it a clearance rack?

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across... read more

They lived their whole lives right across the river from each other, way back in the day. The nearest bridge across was 100 miles away, and both were too poor to afford an automobile, so from their youth they made a past time of shouting insults to one another from across the river.
For many yea... read more

That seemed to be able to answer all questions. It cured cancer and even told them how to travel faster than light.one day one of the scientists asked it if there was a god. The ai asked for all of humanities information in order to answer. It was given all books ever written, all historical data an... read more

The younger of the two asks "Mom, what the hell are we even doing?"

Mom responds "I know, it's dumb, but thanks for agreeing to come with me. My dad was very specific in his will about how his ashes would be spread. This place is number 1 on the list. He'd been coming here for the longest tim... read more

Paddles were on clearance for 90% off, and people went crazy trying to get them.

It was quite an oar deal.

Ol' Boudreaux and his wife lived down in the river bottom. They had a neighbor across the river named Clarence. Well, one day, Boudreaux and Clarence were yelling back and forth cross that river arguing over something. Ol' Boudreaux had had enough. He stormed off to his house and grabbed his hat, ... read more

When my maintenance guys fail to inspect them for the proper mesh and clearance.

Clearance

Although the exact number is a closely held state secret requiring level 5 security clearance, I can assure you, that for $50,000, it *can* be done.

When he died, he donated his brain to science. The dissection was very time-sensitive, so the morgue hired an Uber to transport the head within the 20 minutes it would take before the bacteria disappeared.
The driver was then pulled over for speeding and, not having the proper driving clearance, ... read more

She walks up to the manager and says, "I'm the best damn salesperson you could ever have! I want a job."

The manager, admiring her moxie, says, "That's wonderful, but *any*one can just *say* they're the best."

Without missing a beat, the woman says, "Give me anything. It'll be done in ... read more