A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say
‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk and say, ‘ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!‘ The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books. The chickens leave as before. The ...
Jacob, age 92, and Beth, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"... The pharmacist answers "Yes".
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" ...
Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation
Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.
The penny is the most common among coins in circulation.
It's common cents.
A man decides to put his counterfeit 30 dollar bills into circulation.
He decides that a small town would be the best place to put them into circulation. "No one will know" he thinks. When he enters the store he chose to start breaking them up, he tells the cashier, "I got these brand new, shiny 30 dollar bills, Can you break them for me?" She says, "Sure, do you want ...
Teacher giving a lesson on circulation of blood says to her class, “Now, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”
“Yes” the whole class agrees.
“Then why is it,” she continues, “that while I am standing upright, the blood d...
Why Obama shouldn't take the penny out of circulation.
He said he would bring change, not take it away.
I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.
USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.
This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.
A chicken walks into a library
It goes up to the circulation desk and says: "book, bok, bok, boook". The librarian hands the chicken a book. It tucks it under his wing and runs out. A while later, the chicken runs back in, throws the first book into the return bin and goes back to the librarian saying: "book, bok, bok, bok, boook...
[OC] A programmer walks into a coffee shop
A programmer walks into a coffee shop on his lunch break with his pet, a black Labrador. He comes in with a scowl on his face and a furrowed brow, his expression showing a frustrated yet pensieve look about him. He asks for a plain, black coffee.
The barista compassionately eyed the man fo...
A scam artist from the city needs to lay low for a while an goes to a faraway village where nobody knows him.
He thinks to himself: "These people are probably not as smart as the city folk and I could probably get away with a few scams. It'll be easy pickings."
He goes ...
The Australian government recently unveiled their plans for a 1 dollar coin.
While some critics questioned the economic viability, the kangaroonie will start circulation next year, according to a government spokesperson.
An old man is lying on his deathbed.
Slipping peacefully away, he is half-aware of one sense after another fading, his sight growing dim, a blessed silence falling... and then something half-forgotten teases at his nose and he twitches as it registers. It's a delicious savoury scent wafting up the stairs - his wife's wonderful cheese s...
What Engineer Designed The Human Body?
Four engineers are arguing over who designed the human body.
The mechanical engineer points to the ways the bones, the muscles, and the tendons are joined together and move so smoothly and efficiently, and claims it must have been a mechanical engineer.
The electrical engineer diagrams...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Nsfw! An elderly man goes to a dr.
He says: Dr. I think my circulation is going backwards. The Dr asks why do you think that. The man says :well you see, when I was younger, when my wife stroked my hair my penis would stand up. But now when she puts her hand in my pants, my hair stands up.
Check Out a Romance
I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books. After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he...