UPJOKE
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Everyone credits Pastors and Priests for spreading the gospel..

But no on seems to appreciate the stunning amount of missionary work done by porn stars..

I wanted to run a DnD game where the party would be setting up a gynecology clinic, but my gaming group started spreading a false rumor that it was a kink thing?

It was just a smear campaign...

I woke up with an allergic reaction spreading all over my body.

Instinctively I thought to go straight to the doctor, but then I realized quickly that one should never make rash decisions!

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Two young Mormon missionaries are spreading the good word around South-East Asia when they accidentally walk in to a brothel

This becomes increasingly clearer to the two young men as the attractive, scantily clad women begin to make poorly veiled sexual entreaties in broken English. The two have practically no knowledge of, or experience with, women, and begin sweating profusely when the truth dawns. The first missionary ...

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The World Health Organization has said Monkeypox is primarily spreading through sex.

So Redditors should be safe.

Flat-earthers have heard their theory is spreading around the globe

They don't believe it.

In the summer of 1901, there was a small town in Western New York.

Nestled in a small valley, the town of Alfred was dominated by a church with a massive bell that would ring every day, at the top of every hour for several minutes on end, from sun up 'til sun down, much to the ire of the inhabitants.


One fateful night, the bell disappeared. Distraught,...

Hagrid spreading Dumbledore's ashes into the winds.

"You're a blizzard Albus."

My friend is spreading rumours about me being schizophrenic.

Well, three can play that game!

My government is spreading obviously false covid-19 info about x-mas parties

Here in Sweden the government lies and says that we can have Christmas gatherings of up to 8 people without any problems. Such obvious bull! Who knows 8 people without any problems?

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A man was taken to court by several people for spreading scandalous rumors about their sex lives

The judge asked the man, "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Well your honor," responded the man. "I grew up on a very small land mass in the ocean and its just a part of our culture."

Not satisfied, the judge asked, "What culture could you possibly belong to that would lea...

I got thrown out of DisneyWorld for spreading my dead mother’s remains around the park. It was her dying wish.

The security guards said I probably should have cremated her first.

A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a...

Why was Mr. Information sad?

Because everyone was spreading Ms. Information

Why China is arresting people for spreading misinformation?

Because spreading misinformation is government's job.

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Escape convict...

A young couple was woken up by an escaped convict in their bedroom, the convict put a knife on the husband's neck and instructed them not to make a sound. The convict then tied the husband's hands to a door knob and tied his foot together. He then proceeded to the bed and tied up the woman's hands...

I got knocked off my bike by a salt spreading truck last winter.

"You IDIOT" I shouted through gritted teeth.

A lady walked into a tattoo parlor...

'Do you do custom work?' she asks the artist.

'Why of course!'

'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.'

'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get up on the...

With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..

“Made in China”

With this whole virus pandemic, I think it’s become clear we need to get rid of certain races for potentially spreading the virus.

Like the Tour de France for example. Too many people standing right next to each other. Can’t be too cautious these days...

Stop spreading the fake news that women are forced to wear hijabs.

It's their free choice between wearing them or getting stoned to death.

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For me, getting girls is like spreading butter...

It's much easier with a knife.

Did you hear about the COVID-19 spreading like crazy in Italy?

Looks like it's being pasta around.

There were rumours spreading that Zeus has been cheating on his wife with other women

But it was all just Hera-say

..............a wizard beneath the sheets!’

A Southern Baptist minister was addressing his congregation.
‘Today I am a sad man. And I’m gonna tell you why I am a sad
man. I am a sad man because a member of this church has
been spreading the word that I am a member of the Ku Klux
Klan. That person has not had the courage to speak t...

The pig with wooden legs

A man drove by a farm every day on his way to work, and he always saw a pig in the front yard.

One morning on his way in, he noticed the pig had a wooden leg. It was odd, but he put it out of his mind. A couple of weeks later, he saw the pig had a second wooden leg. No longer able to contain ...

Rumours are spreading that Arnold Schwarzenegger is being cast in a Namor the Sub-Mariner film. It's not known who he will be playing...

But we can confirm that it's not Attuma.

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Persuading girl into having sex with you is like spreading the butter on a toast.

It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.

As Covid19 winds down, another virus is spreading like wildfire

Covid19 may be winding down, but a brand new virus, the ID10t virus, is spreading like wildfire.
Symptoms of the ID10t virus include mental and comprehension issues. Symptoms include schitzophasia, a condition where words are misunderstood. A victim may hear or read a words like "baking soda" a...

To prevent spreading coronavirus, Aha's Morten Harket doesn't physically kiss people.

He just get close to them and says "moi,


which is a different take on me

The best way to stop Covid-19 spreading...

Would be to post it in *new

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