Churches Jokes

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Edit: Alright I've got it lol, TIL churches have wi-fi

Edit 2: ok guys really I get it, churches have wif-fi, no need for every redditor to tell me, 200 is enough

Edit 3: I'm beginning to realise these edit... read more

They don't wanna compete with an invisible power that actually works.

a priest just asked me in and offered me a Slowpoke

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" -George S. Patton

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar; you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say." -George R. R. Martin

Tax exempt status

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had ... read more

That's because they're birds of pray.

On Father's day they handed out jumper cables. I kept quiet, because I drive an electric car, and didn't want to start anything.

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Si... read more

Both take your money but only one gives it back.

Finnish hymns

And the priest says, "I'm sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons in churches"

The Higgs replies, "but without me, you can't have mass"

It takes 3 days for the bread to rise

Our priest even bought my son his own Webcam.

Cause they don’t want to deal with an invisible power that actually works


Not original, a friend told it to me years ago.