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Christmas Songs Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't Joe Exotic ever release any Christmas songs?

Because he fucking hates Carols.

Some poor children in Victorian London were listening to Christmas songs

They heard that Santa Claus gives coal to children who aren´t on his nice list, and so they commit as many petty crimes as possible to be on his naughty list so as to not die of hypothermia.

My wife asked me to get out of the house because I can’t stop singing Christmas songs.

I said, “But Baby, it’s cold outside.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why doesn't Mike Pence sing Christmas songs?

It might make the Yuletide gay.

At this time of year, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.

And that's why I'm no longer a fireman.

I keep hearing high pitched Christmas songs in my ear.

My Doctor thinks it might be tinseltus.

Around this time of the year, I start carrying around a stone with me to throw at people who are singing Christmas songs already.

It’s my jingle bell rock.

So last year I started a tradition, I carry a pebble and throw it at anyone who sings Christmas songs before December....

I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into a pet shop looking for a bird. The employee of the pet shop walks up to her and asks, "What are you looking for?"

The woman explains she wants a bird who can sing. The employee explains "We have one, but he only sings Christmas songs". The womans says "well I'd love to see it!" The employee walks into the backroom and brings out a pretty, brown parrot. "His name is Chet and he only sings when you light a fire u...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man decides to get a pet for his wife for Christmas

He walks until the only pet store in town and begins to browse. He started to walk towards the dogs, but noticed the parrots next to the checkout. As he admires the birds, he notices that one of them was triple the price of the rest.

Intrigued, the man asks the owner, "What is so special abou...

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