UPJOKE
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I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

...is one of Donald Trumps more offensive slogans.

Why does Mrs Clause pray for a white Christmas?

Because Santa always comes once a year.

Someone wished me a white Christmas

So I wished them a black Kwanzaa

Everyone wants a white Christmas...

but all Christmases matter!!!

Are you disappointed you didn't have a white Christmas?

Don't worry. I heard Inauguration Day will be plenty white.

The last time we had a white Christmas, I made snow angels.

I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.

What do you get when you jingles Santa Claus' balls?

A white Christmas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Since it's Destroy Dick December,

we're gonna have a really white christmas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Midwest Diary...

Aug. 1

Moved to our new home in Chicago. It is so beautiful here.

The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered

with snow. I LOVE IT HERE!

Oct. 14

Chicago is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are

turning all different colo...

My favorite bad Christmas joke

Dolf is the weatherman at KTVY, the local CBS affiliate in Kansas City. He's also a closet communist, and has a bit of an anger management problem. During their Christmas Eve broadcast Dolf forecasts a cold and rainy Christmas day, then turns it over to Erin, the anchor he's been dating for the past...

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

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