You think gad and electric bills are expensive... have you seen chimneys?
They're through the roof!
Why does Santa have such a hard time with chimneys?
Because he's Klaustrophobic.
How much do chimneys cost?
Nothing, they're on the house.
Britain used to send kids up chimneys to sweep them. It was hazardous and many got ill and died.
Until we developed the flue vaccine.
The CDC is warning people about biohazards in chimneys, but my dumb Facebook friends won't listen.
They keep saying "It's just the flue, bro."
TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions
They may introduce a clause
Why have so many chimneys stopped smoking?
Because of hearth disease
(from my 6yo daughter)
Why is St. Nick afraid of going down chimneys?
Claustrophobia.
Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys next year?
It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.
Did you hear Santa stopped coming down chimneys?
He kept getting Claus-trophobic.
How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he’s been down?
He keeps a log
Why was Santa sick on the day after Christmas?
A couple of the chimneys he went down had the flue
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