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You think gad and electric bills are expensive... have you seen chimneys?

They're through the roof!

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Why does Santa have such a hard time with chimneys?

Because he's Klaustrophobic.

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TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions

They may introduce a clause

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Why have so many chimneys stopped smoking?

Because of hearth disease

(from my 6yo daughter)

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Why is St. Nick afraid of going down chimneys?

Claustrophobia.

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A tale of two chimneys

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney?
You're too young to smoke.


What did the smaller chimney say to the big chimney?
GAH! TALKING CHIMNEY!

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The CDC is warning people about biohazards in chimneys, but my dumb Facebook friends won't listen.

They keep saying "It's just the flue, bro."

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Britain used to send kids up chimneys to sweep them. It was hazardous and many got ill and died.

Until we developed the flue vaccine.

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Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys next year?

It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.

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How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he’s been down?

He keeps a log

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Why was Santa sick on the day after Christmas?

A couple of the chimneys he went down had the flue

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