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Checkered Jokes

The Vans brand has a really checkered past.

Sorry if this was Off the Wall.

I wish churches had checkered floors

That way if you got bored you could just watch the bishop!

I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a checkered tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

As a French-Canadian with a successful plaid condom business, I feel I have a lot to offer on British monetary policy

But nobody wants a Quebecker with a checkered pecker as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

The Chess Grand Master was embarrassed when they found out he used to play a much simpler game…

…that’s right, he had a “checkered past.”

I Want to Become a Famous Chess Player.

But I've got too much of a checkered past to do it.

I went on a date with a chess player...

I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant. With checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.

When my grandfather passed away, we were surprised

. . . to discover a small locked box in his closet. No one in the family had ever seen it before and no one could provide any guess as to what it might contain. Curiosity eventually overtook us and we brought the box to a locksmith to be opened. Inside were some trophies, many small discs and a c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Intern Interviews Three Psychiatric Residents

Psych intern is taken to the first of three patient rooms.

Patient is wearing a baseball cap and swinging an imaginary baseball bat.

I: How long do you think you'll be here?

P: Oh, as soon as I hit this home run, I'm outta here!

I: (Makes notes)

Intern is then tak...

A boy was driving home to Minnesota from his first semester of college...

...in California for winter break. He had the car packed and he left after his last final. He wanted to make good time so he drove all night, but as the sun came up his stomach started to rumble...it was time for breakfast!

He pulled into a mom and pop diner and it looked exactly like you'd e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The local hot shot had never lost a drag race.

He had a souped up little dragster he pieced together himself. It was an old Honda, sure, but this guy had tuned it to perfection. Not only that, he'd squeezed every ounce of horsepower out of it possible: straight pipes, turbo, the works.

There's a straightaway on a back road where all the l...

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