I took my Labrador to the vets for a CAT scan...

Turns out she is a dog.

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What did the doctor discover on his Catholic patient’s CAT scan?

A mass.

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An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be absolutely certain."
...

The dead dog

A guy brought his dog into the vet. He didn't want to admit and accept the fact his dog died. The vet told the owner the dog is dead. The guy demanded a 2nd opinion. The vet gets a cat. The cat sniffs the dead dog and said "meow". The vet said the cat agrees the dog is dead. The owner demands a 3rd ...

Dogs can't operate MRI machines

>! But cat scan !<

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead

Not happy with the vet’s diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog.
The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
“There” says the vet,” Your hamster is dead”.
Still not ha...

A guy goes to a hospital and this happens:

He lies down on the bed thingy and waits.
A big black Labrador comes in and sniffs the dude from head to toe. Then, a cat comes in and checks him out. A month later, he gets a bill for $1,500.

"What was this for?!" he said as he was on the phone with the doctor.

"Oh," she said, lo...

A man is concerned that the pain in his side may be serious, so he goes to his doctor's.

After a brief examination, the doctor asks the man to lie on the examination table. The man does so as the doctor leaves the room.

While the man is lying there, a dog and cat enter the room. The cat jumps into the man's chest and stares at him while the dog licks each of his hands. Shortly...

At the doctor's office.

A man was not feeling well so he went to see his doctor.

The doctor probes him, takes blood samples and sends them to the lab then sends the man to X-ray and for a CAT scan, then uses the MRI equipment and all the high tech medical diagnostic equipment the office has to find out what is wrong...

Cat scan

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distres...

The vet's office

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man,...

A man goes to a vet with a sick chihuahua

A man takes his sick chihuahua to the vet. They're immediately taken back to the room.

Soon, a labrador walks in, sniffs the chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and ...

A guy walks into the vet`s office with a hamster.

He lays the hamster on the table and the doctor says, "I`m sorry, sir, but your hamster is dead."

"I want a second opinion!" the man demands.
So the doctor brings in a cat. The cat walks around the hamster, sniffs him and shakes its head. "Well the cat says your hamster is dead," says the ...

A man rushes with his dog to the vet, but the doctor tells him the dog is dead

The man doesn’t believe it, so the vet goes to the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows.

“I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.”

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The dog s...

A man's dog has a problem so he takes him to the vet's.

A man's dog has a problem so he takes him to the vet's. The vet looks at the dog and says that he'll have to take him to the examining room. In the examining room, he takes a cat out of a cage and lets the cat walk all over the dog, but the dog doesn't do anything.

The doctor say "Your dog i...

I'm taking my cat into the vet....

He's getting a cat scan

A man goes to the vet

A man goes to the vet with his dog, and says "there's something wrong, I can't get her to wake up!"

So the vet brings the man to the examination room, and puts a stethoscope to the dogs chest and mournfully says "I'm sorry sir, your dog is dead"

The main sobs and says "isn't there anyt...

This lady had a sick duck she took in to the vet.

This lady had a sick duck she took in to the vet to have it checked out. The vet looked at the duck and said, " Lady, your duck is dead."

"Oh no, this cannot be. Please isn't there something you can do. My duck cannot be dead," said the lady.

So the vet brought in a Labrador Retrieve...

A woman calls the vet because her beloved dog isn’t moving.

The vet makes a house call and after a quick examination tells the woman her dog is going to die.



“Isn’t there anything you can do?” the woman pleads with the vet. He thinks it over, leaves the room, and returns with her cat. The cat sniffs the dog head to toe, looks him over, and sha...

A woman brings her severly ill bird into the vet.

The vet rushes her back to the examination room, but unfortunately the little bird passes on before he can do anything for it.

He tells the woman that her bird has died, but she refuses to believe him and demands that he run tests to verify the little guy's demise.

The vet goes into th...

A lady walks into a veterinarian with a parrot

A lady walks into a veterinarian with a parrot and places the parrot, stiff as a board, onto the vets desk.

"Doctor I think my parrot is sick. Please make him well again!"

The vet takes a look at the parrot and puts his stethoscope on the parrots chest and listens solemnly for a few mo...

A man walks into a vet

He is holding his pet duck and says to the vet can you make duck better

The vet holds him for a minute and hen says he’s dead

The man says are you sure can you run some tests

The vet says ok and brings in a labradoodle the dog sniffs and looks at the vet and shakes his head.
...

Man brings a limp parrot to the vet

Man brings a limp parrot to the vet, the vet takes one look at it and says "I'm sorry there's nothing I can do."

The man is furious, "You didn't even try!"

Vet shrugs, walks out of the room and walks back in with a black labrador. The dog sniffs the parrot, pauses and then shakes its h...

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Going to the Doctor

A man has been feeling a terrible aching feeling in his gut, and recently upon checking it in the shower, he thought he felt a lump! So the man immediately schedules an appointment to go to the doctor's. The following week, at the doctor's office, the doctor inspects the area, and asks the man sever...

Dr joke I just made up

A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the youn...

Dogs operating XRays cannot detect brain tumours.

But CAT scan!

A woman brings her duck to the vet...

The vet lays it on the table and says, "Ma'am, I'm afraid your duck is dead."

"No it's not! He was fine in the car, I swear! I want proof!" So the vet leaves, and then walks back in with a black lab. The dog walks up to the duck, sniffs it and turns his head. Then the vet brings in a kitten,...

A woman goes into vet because of her bird

A woman goes into vet because of her bird, after about an hour the doctor comes out and the conversation begins.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but your bird is dead”

Owner: “Is there anything you can do?”

Doctor: “Well we can try but I cannot promise anything.”

The doctor brings in...

This guy takes his sick parrot to the vet...

The vet takes one look and says, "I'm afraid your parrot is dead."
"That's terrible," says the guy, "How can you so sure? I’d like a second opinion."
The Vet then opens the door and whistles. A Labrador bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, takes time sniffing at the parrot, looks up ...

You Get What You Pay For

A woman went out to her yard one morning and found her dog just laying there, not moving at all. She thought it might be dead, but since it was a basset hound and never moved much anyway, she wanted to be sure... after all, she didn't want to bury it and then find out it wasn't dead. So she took it ...

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The dead duck.

A not-so-bright farmer brings his dead duck to a vet, asking for treatment. The vet takes one look and says, "I'm sorry, but that duck is dead." The farmer asks if they can do some tests to make sure. The vet agrees and whistles, summoning a black lab. the dog puts its front paws on the table and sn...

An old man had a dog

The dog wasn't moving, and the old man goes

"I think my dog is dead!"

He goes to the vet to check if his dog was dead.

The old man goes to the counter and goes

"I think my dog is dead."

The vet goes

"I'll have to do some checking to see if the dog is."
<...

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Headaches

One day a man starts having terrible headaches. Everywhere he goes his head hurts, so he decides to go to the doctor to figure out the problem.

The doctor does a routine exam and can't figure out the source, so they decide to do a CAT scan and MRI. After the procedures, the doctor finds the ...

A woman brings her budgie to the vet's.

It is lying very still and limp. "I'm afraid it's dead" says the vet, but the woman refuses to believe him. "Please", she says, "can't you examine it at least?" The vet goes to the door and whistles. In trots a black Labrador. The vet points to the budgie, and the dog goes over to the table, puts hi...

A child brings his hamster to the vet...

and the vet says 'i'm sorry, your hamster died'. the child started crying and the mother asked if he was sure and if there was anything he could do.
The vet went to the back brought out a black lab, which proceeded to bark at the hamster with no response.
still not convinced, they requested...

A woman walks into a vet with her duck

It's being dragged behind her, evidently dead. She opens the door to an examining room and says "I think my duck might be dead, doctor!" The doctor says "well ma'am, let me take a look". So the doctor takes the duck and gently places it on the examining table. After a few quick checks, he says "I'm ...

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the vet and told...

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A little story of a boy and his dog

Timmy's best friend was his dog. His dog was his only friend when his dad got a new job and they had to relocate. His dog was there to scare away the bullies when he was an awkward kid in school. Timmy's dog was even there as a shoulder to cry on when Timmy had his first broken heart. They grew fro...

A guy brings his dead dog to the vet

Hes in a panic, "doctor what can you do??!?"

"That dog is dead, theres nothing I can do."

"But doctor, surely theres something you can do!"

The doctor brings in a blood hound. The hound sniffs the dead dog and confirms. "Oh that dog is deffinitely dead"

"No doctor! There...

A woman takes her duck to the vet.

A woman takes her pet duck to the vet, he's really limp and not active and she's extremely worried. She put the duck on the exam table and tells the vet, "there is something terribly wrong with my beloved duck! he won't move and has been limp for quit some time!"

The vet looks at the duck, pi...

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