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Camo Jokes

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Why do female military use camo dildos?

So no one can see them cuming

I hate camo clothing

I just can't see myself wearing it . . .

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket

You can hide but you can’t run

I got a camo jacket for Christmas…

I just can’t see myself wearing it.

I went to buy some camo pants

but couldn’t find any.

I saw a guy in a wheelchair wearing a camo outfit

I thought, man you can hide but you can't run.

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Did you hear about the public masturbater in the camo trenchcoat?

Nobody saw him coming

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Camo Elephants

Q: Why do elephants paint their balls red?

A: To hide in cherry trees.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: Giraffes eating cherries.

A seat gent is yelling at a pvt for missing camo practice.

Sergeant: “I didn’t see you at camouflage practice yesterday private!”

Pvt: “Thank you, sir!”

Hey dude do you know where my camo pants are?

I don’t know, I haven’t seen them.

What do you call a ripped camo?

FLECK-TORN!



I'm sure I bought a pair of camo pants.

But I've looked all over my house and I can't find them.

Why does the US military use digital camo?

They turned down the graphics for better performance

Would love to find a women who looks good in camo.

I've never seen one.

At an outdoorsy store a hunter asks an employee why anyone would want to buy camo longjohns

The employee promptly replies, "They'll never see you coming!"

For fashion week, Paris covered the famous Eiffel Tower in camouflage

I'll be honest, I don't see the attraction.

They say 'seeing is believing'...

Camo isn't real.

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Guide to pooping at work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2013 Survival Guide for taking a du...

An American and a Russian are talking about cars...

The American goes "When I feel happy, I drive a red Camaro. When I feel down, I drive a black Mustang. And for trips abroad, my choice is an orange Cadillac." The Russian responds "When I don't feel so good, I ride a white van with red stripes (ambulance). When I feel waaaayyyyy too happy, I ride a ...

My 6yo burned me....

I came home from hunting the other day to my family eating breakfast. As I came up to the table my daughter looks at me,
Hadley: Daddy I know where you've been.....
Me: You do? Did your momma tell you?
Hadley: Nope, but I can tell you've been hunting cause your wearing all camo
Me: Yep, ...

What do you see when a woman in the Army wears her pants too tight?

Camo toe.

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Hunting ultimatum

A man and his wife get a weekend off and decide to go hunting at their lodge in the country. They show up late Friday evening and decide to just wake up early and go hunt in the morning. Saturday morning rolls around and they get up and eat breakfast as the husband is getting ready in his camo the ...

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