I was walking through the local park when I was verbally abused by two unruly kids.
Then the mother got involved with a real volley of the worst swear words I have ever heard. So I asked her, are the children twins? She said how the fuck can they be twins? One is 12 the other is 8 you stupid fucking Prick. I replied, I couldn't imagine anyone fucking you twice..
Pedro gets a New Secretary.
Pedro gets a New Secretary. He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband’s roving eye.
Dora (Pedro's wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?"
Pedro: “Didn’t quite notice."
Dora: "What color are her eyes?" ...
A priest and a nun are having a tennis match...
The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better. After a volley from the nun, the priest misses and yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”, startling the nun. She let it slip by and the match continues.
But alas, after a fierce back-hand from the nu...
Just Been Watching The Ladies Beach Volley Ball And There Has Already Been A Bad Wrist Injury,
I Should Be Okay By The Morning Though.
Comrade Stalin is giving a speech...
Inspired by the recent post by /u/JTRuno:
Comrade Stalin is giving a speech to a packed house when someone in the crowd - a factory worker named Boris - sneezes.
Stalin stops. He sets down his notes and asks "who sneezed?".
Silence. You could hear a pin drop.
"I ask again...
My Irish stepfather was a master story teller. He told the Wembley joke differently than what I've seen online.
Excuse me, is this Wembley? No it's Thursday. So am I let's have one.
He paid particular attention to the beat changes in this story. At the end of each line (the beat) he would change voices. Each line was a different voice/character. He told the story as if it was a fast paced con...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
My history teacher told me a joke about WW2 today...
If you have unknown troops in front of you and you want to find out who they are, fire a few rounds in their direction.
If you are met with precision machine gun fire, they’re German.
If you are met by a volley of precision rifle fire, they are British.
If they surrender, they’r...
Two men were lost in the desert.
As they wandered, desperately looking for food and water they spot a tree and head towards it. As they get closer they can't believe their eyes, every branch of the tree has bacon slices hanging off it. One of them breaks into a run and grabs a slice, but before he can eat it, out of nowhere a volle...