Bums Jokes

because I'm an .

Two bums are walking down the street when the 1st bum notices a foul smell. He turns to his buddy and asks “Whew, Raymond, did you your pants!?”

“Nah man, I didn’t.”

They walk a bit further when the 1st bum realizes something still really stinks. He asks again”Hey Raymond! You’re ... read more

A man walks into a bar, clearly agitated. He orders a shot and downs it almost instantly.

He orders three more before banging both fists on the table and declaring, “All lawyers are bums!”

He does this a few times; orders more alcohol, drinks it, and yells the same thing:

“Al... read more

*A little background - in Russia it's kind of a cultural thing to drink in groups of three*

Two bums are sitting in an alley behind a liquor store and sharing a bottle of cheap vodka when a third bum comes up to them.

- "Hey guys, can I be the third?"
- "No, but you can be... read more

late one evening a guy is closing up the restaurant he works at. He's sweeping floors and wiping tables, when there's a knock at the door. He opens the door and standing there is the filthiest bum he's ever seen. The bum says, "say fella, could you give me a fork?" Well the guy figures, what the hel... read more

3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in and asked for a fork.The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious.

"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"

"Well," the bu... read more

A hobosexual.