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Vagrant Jokes

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A witcher hypnotises a vagrant and mistakenly knocks out his teeth.

It was Axii Dental.

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The police arrested two insane vagrants in an alley yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

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What do you call an affectionate vagrant?

A homeless romantic.

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A young painter once had an old ladder

The ladder was one he’d found in a dumpster a few years before and, since he was poor and needed a ladder, he snatched it up and considered himself lucky. Over time, as he used the ladder on large murals, it would invariably be off-kilter, would not sit flush to the wall, or a rung would slip and ro...

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A Rare Dish

This is a long one.

An English cook is trying to build up his skills as a chef. He's been working for years learning all sorts of rare and unique dishes to serve at his mentor's restaurant.

One day a wealthy guest at the restaurant asks to meet the cook and says "While I enjoyed the me...

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What do you call a nice-smelling hobo?

A fragrant vagrant

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No one can drink that much beer!

A woman and her husband go into a bar

The husband drink three pitchers in ten minutes.

He goes to the bathroom to empty out his bladder.

While inside a raggedy man comes up to his wife and says "I want to kiss you"

"My husband's in the bathroom! Absolutely not!" She ret...

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Real Rabbi Joke

OK - so many years ago, i was actually a practicing jew, in a yeshiva no less. The rabbi's would sometimes tell us jokes. most were awful. this one i thought was amusing. in a reddit filled with old reposts, i think it'll at least be a bit fresh.

A long time ago there was a small jewish commu...

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A cattle farmer had three sons...

Mark, Jakob, and David.

Mark and Jakob weren't much for farm life.
Mark took off at 16 for the city, and didn't come back.
Jakob waited until he completed college, whenceforth he became a businessman and lawyer.

David, however, stayed with his father on the farm his whole life t...

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