A redditor goes to a meteor-shower party

A redditor hears about a meteor shower party nearby and decides to attend. However, the party is a letdown. There are no snacks and nearly everyone there is boring to talk to. The guy turns to someone nearby and says to him "Dang, this party is a real bummer." Worse, when the sky darkens and the tim...

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Aussie Helpline

"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline here ...What's the problem,cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up."

"Bummer, mate..!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."

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My wife and I went on our honeymoon to Australia, but unfortunately, I had to dial the help line. "G'day this is Tim, you've reached the Aussie help line. How can we help ya?"

I told him, "We were in the ocean and my wife was stung by a jellyfish on her lady parts. Her vagina is completely swollen shut. It's our honeymoon, and well....ya know."

The guy on the help line replies, "Ah, bummer mate!"

I say, "I hadn't thought of that! Thanks for the advice. You'v...

Whats blue and pretty on top, and brown and kind of a bummer in the bottom?

The Mediterranean Sea.

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These masks, man. I was standing in line to get in the grocery store, when I saw my friend, Steve was ahead of me in line.

I say, “hey man, long time! How’s it going?”

He says, “oh, hey! Pretty good actually, considering my wife left me.”

“oh yeah, that was a bummer, cheating on you with your brother like that!”

He’s shocked, “what? It was my brother?”

“wait wait, are you Steve?”

“No,...

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NSFW - I was on vacation in Australia with my girlfriend

And we were sunbathing on a nudist beach.

All of a sudden a hornet flew down and stung her right on her special area. It immediately swelled up and turned a rather nasty colour.

I immediately rang the Australian helpline for insect stings.

"G'Day mate, what seems to...

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Australian Guy on honeymoon and his Wife slips and damages her pussy.

He calls his mate and explains what has happened, his mate says bummer mate, he replies fucking hell Bruce didn't think of that I owe you a beer.

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An Australian was taking his girlfriend out for a night of passion under the stars.....

....when she was stung between the legs by a giant hornet. In a panic he wasn’t sure what to do so he rang the Australian Emergency Medical Helpline.... “Hello, I’m takin’ me Shiela out for a romantic night of camping and she’s just been stung by a hornet on her privates...and it’s all swollen and ...

Did you hear about the depressed traffic jam?

It was really bummer-to-bummer.

21st birthday

A little boy is born with a terrible birth defect - he has only a head, no torso, no limbs.

On his 21st birthday, his friends take him to the bar to celebrate. One of them pours his first beer down his throat - and poof! All of a sudden, a neck and torso pop out of his head.

His fri...

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A newly wed couple are off on their honeymoon in Australia

They were out swimming in the sea when all of a sudden, a jelly fish stung the wife in the vagina. They quickly went to the hospital and the doctor said "it looks like you will be okay but due to the swelling you won't be able to have sex for at least a couple of weeks." The couple were so disappoin...

I have been texting this girl and she just dropped the news that shes a vegetarian.

Bummer. I didn't even get to meat her.

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Australian on Honeymoon.

An Australian guy called Steve was on the first night of his Honeymoon with his new Wife, when his Wife slipped and damaged her Pussy, desperate, Steve phoned his best Mate Bruce and explained what had happened, Bruce replied "bummer Mate" Steve said thanks Bruce never thought of that, I owe you a B...

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Golfing assassin

So a guy was out golfing by himself when he ran into a stranger who asked if they should play together. The guy would love some company and said yes.

So they were walking along the golf course chatting when the topic of professions came up.
"What do you do for a living?", the guy says. ...

I felt a little behind in Middle School

It was a major bummer when the cops found out :(

My friend just told me he has a chocolate lab.

Turns out it's a dog, not a place. Bummer.

Your morbid joke for the day.

A man visits his doctor as for the past few weeks he has been feeling incredibly ill. After numerous tests and examinations his doctor finally breaks the news about his results.


"I'm afraid there is no easy way to say this... You have terminal colon cancer. It was left unchecked for so lo...

You have to spell a word to get into heaven.

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.

She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling g...

I visited a proctologist the other day...

It was a real bummer.

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