UPJOKE
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How many brexitiers does it take to replace a light bulb?

Two. One to promise a brighter future and one to screw it up.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't, they arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

How many GoT plot writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.

How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They're happy living in the dark

How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We don’t know. Due to a lack of building regulations, they keep dying from electrocutions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Too

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it won't screw.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver!

EDIT AGAIN: Thank you for the gold and platinum! I am honored!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but the light has to really want to change.


Give me your best lightbulb joke.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

10.

1 to change the bulb and 9 to tell you how much better they could've done it

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

One. We are efficient and dont have humour.

Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street, and walked into a bar.

My life is a joke.

How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. They never get to keep the house.

How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness

How many Excel users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Monday January 01, 1900

How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Wanna go ride bikes?

How does a narcissist change a light bulb?

They hold it up to the light and wait for the world to revolve around them

How many Fu** Boys does it take to change a light bulb?

It is a trick question, as they are still using gas lighting.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?

It’s a reeeeaaally obscure number that you’ve probably never heard of

How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first.

How many Redditor's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, the light bulb never gets changed. You were all too busy fixing my grammatical mistake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?

The real question is that who broke the light bulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?

edit.. thanks for the award kind stanger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb?

They wouldn't. They'd rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hey, FUCK YOU! (Said in a Brooklyn accent)

Just wrote this one about my esteemed profession. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the aforementioned task in a timely and efficient manner within the structure in which said bulb is housed and being dependent on the following variables:

Whereas it should be taken in to account that ceiling heights may differ significantly f...

How many astronauts does it take to screw a light bulb?

One to screw the lightbulb and several others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.

How many battered wives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just keep putting the broken one back in because it promised things would be different this time.

How many gynecologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I'm asking because mine had to call like six other guys in to help him, and I'm really starting to wonder why I needed one installed down there in the first place.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agre...

Light bulb

Paddy and John are working on a building site. Paddy says to John, “I need a day off, I’m going to pretend I’ve gone mad!”

Paddy climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, “I’m a light bulb! I’m a light bulb!” While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, “Pa...

Tech Joke: Changing a light bulb

A window user, a Linux user and an apple user all need to change a lightbulb in their respective homes. They split up and the windows and apple user meet back up 5 minutes later

Windows User: Did you get it fixed?

Apple user: No, it can't be cganged so I need to find a new house; how a...

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?

2. One to change it and one to sing about how much they miss the old one.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde?

With a TikTok account and some decent photo editing software, only about 4.

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't know, the baby boomer that has the job now can't retire because they never saved anything and millennials all have LED lights that last longer.

How many Donald Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

Look, we can change the light bulb. That I will tell you. We're changing it, ok? And I understand what you're saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say "Is the light bulb really dead?". That's what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The light bulb is in big trouble, that I can tell y...

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