There are three girls, one named Tulip, one named Daisy, and one named Brick.
One day, three girls and their mom are walking down the street. One is named Tulip, one is named Daisy, and one is named Brick. Tulip asks, "Mommy, why am I named Tulip?", "Oh, because a bunch of Tulips fell on you when you were born," Her mom said. "Well, why am I named Daisy?", "Because a bunch of...
A family of moles
A family of moles awakens from hibernation. The father mole pokes his head out of the hole and says "I smell tulips it must be spring". The mother mole pokes her head out of the hole and says " I smell cherry blossoms it must be spring". The baby mole is trying to squeeze between his parents but get...
My uncle Jim is getting older, and he’s having trouble with his memory
So he went to his doctor, and he started taking these pills to help his memory.
“Hey Uncle Jim,” I said, “what are those memory pills you’re taking called?”
“Ahhhh...um....hmmm” he took a second,
“Hmmmm...hold on let me think ermmmm.....it’s....daisy? No that’s not it....it’s ...
roses are red, tulips are red, violets are red.
my garden is on fire :(
What's better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
How do flowers whistle?
Through their tulips.
You can go anywhere and see tulips
But only Chernobyl has threelips
My wife came home with a big bunch of flowers and says where would you like me to plant them.
I said I'll tell you where you can plant your tulips.
Where do bees go to learn about pollinating tulips?
What flower is on your face?
I was working on the garden. I asked my wife is she liked my new tulips.
She asked when I got the operation.
The other day, I saw a rose making fun of a tulip that had a bump on it's stem, so I stepped on the rose. I'm just doing my part...
...to stop cyst stemic racism.
Two old friends are catching up for the first time in a few months.
Dave: How's those memory pills you're on Bill, are they working?
Bill: They're fantastic mate, couldn't be happier. I'm remembering old faces, recalling old times, I'm very happy.
Dave: Hmm, what are they called, I might have to get some for myself.
Bill: Oh, umm, gee, what's th...
Why do tulips glow?
Because they come from bulbs.
(This is the only *dad* joke I know.)
Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red
The tape around my house is yellow
This is unoriginal, but bears repeating....
Q: What's better than roses on your piano? A: Tulips on your organ.
(Yeah, don't tell that to minors or people born 80 years ago.)
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A Dutch, a French and a Mexican were bragging about their countries...
The Dutchman says, "we have tulips in our country so beautiful that'd astound you". The other two say, "your tulips are nothing, we wipe our butts with those!". The Frenchman says,"we've got irises in our country so delicate that'd amaze you". The other two say, "your irises are nothing, we wipe ...
Do you want a job planting tulips?
*points at crotch*
THEN PLANT TULIPS RIGHT HERE!!
One popular feminine symbol of true romance is roses on a piano.
Most masculine ideas of romance include tulips on an organ.
I’m a pianist.
My girlfriend asked me if I’d like rose on my piano. I told her that I’d rather have tulips on my organ.
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kids asks "Mom, why did name me Rose?" The mother replies "Because a rose pedal fell on your head when you were little."
The second kid asks "Mom, why did you name me Tulip?" The mother replies "Because a tulip pedal fell on your head when you were little."
The third kid asks...
What do Dutch people need to kiss?
What's more beautiful than a delicate rose placed gracefully upon an elegant grand piano?
Somebody putting tulips on your organ.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I Forget the Name
Two elderly men are conversing and drinking wine while their wives prepare dinner in the kitchen. As the discussion begins to dwindle, Tom and Norman decide to delve into their limited pop culture knowledge.
"Well now, Tom," says Norman, "me and Carolyn tuned into one of those nightly talk s...
What's better than roses on a piano...
Tulips on an organ.
Let me know if you get it. I'm not gonna lie it took me a couple minutes when a co-worker told me this. Creds: J-mans old man.
How do you kiss a girl on valentines day?
You use tulips.
What grows under your nose?
What's in Poison Ivy's underpants?
A blind man gets in a cab on his way back from work,
and cracks down his window as it's a nice day. He and the driver make some small talk, when the driver eventually asks,
"Is it true that blind people have a better sense of smell than the rest of us?"
"Of course it is!" the blind man exclaims. "I'll prove it to you."
How many Dutchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Usually one, tulips are not planted that deeply in the ground.
What's better than Roses on your Piano?
Tulips on your Organ!
This one is courtesy of my girlfriend, who is a classically trained pianist and organist.
Two Bald Eagles
A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.
He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.
"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on my organ
My dad told me this joke when I was 5, I finally understood it 19 years later. Hope it doesn't take you that long
Last minute anniversary gift (x-post from r/cleanjokes)
A devoted husband has made it a tradition to buy his beautiful wife beautiful flora for their anniversary. Though his plant of choice is not roses nor tulips, but her favorite: anemone
Alas, there was no anemone in stock this year at the local nursery.
"What else can I buy my wife for ...