Where do bees go to learn about pollinating tulips?
Roses are red, tulips are red, lotus are red
My garden is on fire
The other day, I saw a rose making fun of a tulip that had a bump on it's stem, so I stepped on the rose. I'm just doing my part...
...to stop cyst stemic racism.
You can go anywhere and see tulips
But only Chernobyl has threelips
Do you want a job planting tulips?
*points at crotch*
THEN PLANT TULIPS RIGHT HERE!!
What's better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ!
Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red
The tape around my house is yellow
How many Dutchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Usually one, tulips are not planted that deeply in the ground.
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kids asks "Mom, why did name me Rose?" The mother replies "Because a rose pedal fell on your head when you were little."
The second kid asks "Mom, why did you name me Tulip?" The mother replies "Because a tulip pedal fell on your head when you were little."
The third kid asks...
How does a flower whistle?
Through their tulips.
Mary One-lip searched her whole life for her one-lipped prince, until she found a handsome florist. But she could not marry him...
... For he had tulips.
What do Dutch people have on their face?
What's better than Roses on your Piano?
Tulips on your Organ!
This one is courtesy of my girlfriend, who is a classically trained pianist and organist.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I Forget the Name
Two elderly men are conversing and drinking wine while their wives prepare dinner in the kitchen. As the discussion begins to dwindle, Tom and Norman decide to delve into their limited pop culture knowledge.
"Well now, Tom," says Norman, "me and Carolyn tuned into one of those nightly talk s...
What grows under your nose?
What's better than roses on a piano...
Tulips on an organ.
Let me know if you get it. I'm not gonna lie it took me a couple minutes when a co-worker told me this. Creds: J-mans old man.
Two Bald Eagles
A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.
He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.
"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.
How do you kiss a girl on valentines day?
You use tulips.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on my organ
My dad told me this joke when I was 5, I finally understood it 19 years later. Hope it doesn't take you that long
A troll is guarding a bridge across a long river.
Translated from Polish.
3 men want to cross the bridge. The troll says to go off and come back with their favourite plant.
The first man comes back with a tulip. The troll tells the man to shove it up his ass. He does, then crosses the bridge.
The second man comes back with a...
What's in Poison Ivy's underpants?
A blind man gets in a cab on his way back from work,
and cracks down his window as it's a nice day. He and the driver make some small talk, when the driver eventually asks,
"Is it true that blind people have a better sense of smell than the rest of us?"
"Of course it is!" the blind man exclaims. "I'll prove it to you."
Last minute anniversary gift (x-post from r/cleanjokes)
A devoted husband has made it a tradition to buy his beautiful wife beautiful flora for their anniversary. Though his plant of choice is not roses nor tulips, but her favorite: anemone
Alas, there was no anemone in stock this year at the local nursery.
"What else can I buy my wife for ...
NAME THAT FLOWER
Q: What is the name of the flower you find between your nose and your chin? A: Tulips.