UPJOKE
spanfootbridgestructureviaductriveroverpassroadvalleyoverbiddrawbridgetrestlebridgeworkaqueducthighwaycanal

Bridges Jokes

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.

\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks

\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confid...

Why are there no bridges named after Chuck Norris?

Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

A lost hiker is on one side of a raging river when he sees a buddhist monk on the other side. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the monk on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?”

The buddhist monk shouts back: “You are on the other side.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jonny the bridge builder.

You can build 1000 bridges and they'll never call you Jonny the bridge builder. But you suck one dick and you're a cocksucker for life.

Why do anti-vaccine marches avoid bridges?

Because the marchers are so dense the bridge may not hold.

I've stopped burning bridges in my life

because they make them out of steel now.

Are you afraid of bridges?

Get over it!

Broken bridges really annoy me...

I just can't get over them.

Why do trolls no longer live under bridges, but instead live above them?

They get a better signal.

I recently saw a documentary about bridges.

It was the most suspenseful documentary I have seen.

Have you heard that really convoluted metaphor about poorly constructed bridges?

It's hard to get across.

What language do bridges speak?

Span-ish.

I knew a man whose work focused specifically on designing draw bridges...

of course, this was before his suspension.

They say Jeff Bridges donated a good sum of money to charities after The Big Lebowski…

The Dude Provides!

500 bricks on a plane

Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left?

A. 499

Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

A. Open refrigerator, put elephant in, close refrigerator.

Q. What are the 4 simple steps of putting a giraffe in a refrigerat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Instead of building walls we should be building bridges...

to Canada. Let them deal with this shit.

Why do people never do themselves what they want others to do? BUILD BRIDGES NOT WALLS!!!

No u.

I once had a fear of crossing bridges...

But I got over it.

What do you call a polite man who builds bridges?

A civil engineer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I get really bad anxiety when driving over bridges.

My therapist says I have truss issues.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mage puts two friends, John and Fred, into a labyrinth of bridges.

The two walk around the maze, and they arrive at the first bridge. Fred starts to walk over the bridge when he sees John masturbating out of the corner of his eye. He does a double take and then asks why he's doing this. John then explains that the mage told him they must orgasm on the bridge in ord...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a man wakes up one morning wildly late for work...

Realizing the time, he threw on some clothes and ran out the door as fast as he could. He hops in his car and speeds off, driving much faster than he should have been. During his ride, he goes beneath an overpass, where a police officer happened to be parked that day. Noticing the maniac speeding do...

I once heard a joke about a collapsing bridge

still can't get over it

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.