MOATS!, PORTCULLIS!, DRAWBRIDGE! ARMOURY! BATTLEMENTS! sorry for shouting, I have a condition that makes me shout out things you find in a castle..

It's called TURRETS!

When asked what a drawbridge is, I always shrug.

I think it's a defence mechanism.

Last night at the pub I was talking to a drawbridge operator about his job.

I asked him if he liked it.
He said it has its ups and downs.
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As I was telling my grandfather goodnight over the phone, he proceeded to tell me "the height of conceit."

Which in his own words:

"You know the height of conceit son? A flea floating on his back down a river, sporting a hard-on, yelling 'OPEN THE DRAWBRIDGE' "

That man.

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