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Woodcutter Jokes

An old man applies for a job as a woodcutter,

but the boss doesn't think he's fit enough. He tells the boss he is able to cut down any tree in a single swing.

To prove this, he goes outside, hits a five foot tree with his axe, and it falls over. The boss is impressed. The old man then repeats this with a ten foot tree. Then a thirty foot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cut 100 Trees And No One Will Call You Woodcutter,

Cut 1000 Trees And No One Will Call You Woodcutter,

Cut 10000 Trees And No One Will Call You Woodcutter,

But Fuck One Sheep...

What did the woodcutter say before getting killed by his son?

"I never expected this tree-son"

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting

the branch of a tree hanging over a river ...
..., his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into the water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the...

Did you hear about the woodcutter who lost his job?

His boss gave him the axe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH) was traipsing through the forest on her way to Grandma's house when she met a woodcutter who was surprised to find her alone in the forest.

"LRRH!" he exclaimed. "What are you thinking? The Bid Bad Wolf (TBBW) will find you out here and when he does, you know h...

A man comes into the Airport Employment Office.

He looks like a real hick, in overalls, muddy boots, and a ragged straw hat. "Ah'z looking fer a jobe," he announces.
"And what is it you do, good sir?" asks the man at the desk.
"Ah'z uh pahlut."
Surprised, the man says "Really? Well, we can always use another pilot around the airpor...

A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start.

Two cousins go to the unemployment office.

They ask the first one what he does and he tells them “pilot”. They tell him they can get him a job immediately. They ask second cousin and he’s says “woodcutter” they tell him it may be difficult to place him because its not really a specialty. “Well you said you could get my cousin a job right awa...

A man in a job interview is asked "Do you have any experience?"

A man in a job interview is asked

Interviewer: "Do you have any experience?"

Man "I was a woodcutter in Sahara."

Interviewer: "But Sahara is a desert."

Man: "It is a desert now."

Interviewer: "The job is yours."

Two friends go to an employment agency looking for jobs.

The agent asks the first one what he does. "Pilot" the man says.

"Excellent" the agent replies. "We have a bunch of openings for pilots." She gives him a form and sends him on his way.

She then asks the second man what he does. He tells her he's a woodcutter.

"Oh, I'm sorry" ...

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away

there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in thei...

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