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Bloomberg Jokes

Mike Bloomberg should quit the race now

Mic drop...

What's the difference between Bloomberg and Trump?

At least Bloomberg stops before he frisks

What does Bloomberg feed his cat?

Stop and Friskies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are Trump and Bloomberg alike?

They both spent a lot to get fucked.

Michael Bloomberg will not pick Hillary Clinton as his VP

He's not ready to commit suicide

What city in Germany is known for the flower scenery?

Bloomberg

I want to vote for the guy...

who convinced Bloomberg to spend 500 million dollars on advertising.

Have you ever heard a joke that costs $338 million?

If so, Bloomberg has some papers for you to sign.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man goes to buy a new car...

The salesman at the dealership talks with him for a while and sets him up with a car that suits his needs. As he's leaving the lot, he wants to listen to some music and discovers there isn't any buttons on the stereo. He beckons over the salesman and asks "what's the deal with the stereo, I can't tu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favorite jew jokes.

3 Jewish mothers get together for lunch one day at a fancy restaurant on the upper east side in Manhattan. They haven't seen each other in years, so the conversation naturally, turns to their sons. The first one says, "My Moishe...he's the best doctor in all of New York. Celebrities see him. Michael...

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