A lawyer dies, and somehow manages to go to heaven

When he gets there, he's greeted by St. Peter himself. The lawyer says, "What happened? I wasn't in an accident and I'm too young to die. I'm only 52!"

St. Peter says, "Nope, by our records, you are 84, and that's a pretty good life."

The lawyer yells, "84! How did you figure that?...

An oldie but goodie: A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana

He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear slams his paw down and demands a beer. The bartender repeats "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, now furious, looks around...

Veterinarian billing.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinarian. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.


After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."


The distr...

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