UPJOKE
auctioncounterofferoutbidbidapplicantoffererbuyersuitorpurchaserstakecompetitorborrowertransactionacquirerentrant

Bidder Jokes

I just wanted to share some exciting news! Today I was the unexpected high bidder in an auction for the worlds best sounding pigeon...

It is quite a coup!

A farmer decided to sell all of his chickens to the highest bidder...

It was poultry in auction

Get Stoned Before an Auction

Even if you don't win anything, you'll still be the highest bidder!

What do your Souls and Kidneys have in Common?

If you are strapped for cash, You always have the option of selling them to the highest bidder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife had a dream she was at a Dick auction.

She told her husband about, "The big ones were going for $100 and the small ones were $1."

"How much did mine go for?" He askes. "There were no bidders." She replied.

The next morning the husband tells his wife "I had a crazy dream I was at a pussy auction, the tight ones were going f...

I always make sure to get totally stoned before going to auctions, so even if I don’t snag anything...

...I’m always the highest bidder...

I prefer my wine like I do my women

Locked in a cellar for 20 years and sold for the highest bidder.

what do you called a epileptic at a auction

the highest bidder!





(i can say this seeing i have it)

I always save my eBay shopping for after I come back from 4/20

That way I'm always the highest bidder

I snorted coke and meth, smoked four blunts, and injected heroin today...

...and this guy at the auction house is STILL saying im not the highest bidder.

Graft 101.

A Mayor in a small town is trying to secure bids to repair the town's Main Street Bridge. He finds three contractors - one from Cincinnati, one from New York, and one from Washington, D.C. - and invites them all to town to bid on the job.

The Cincinnati man arrives first, inspects the job si...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the parents that auctioned off the right to name their firstborn child?

They were expecting after trying to get pregnant for a long time. But when they tried to discuss what they should name the child, it was causing all kinds of arguments. They just couldn’t come to an agreement and there was a lot of tension between them. It got to the point where the wife was staying...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.