UPJOKE
bankbanknoteloanfinanciermerchantfinancetellerstockbrokerdepositorbrokerbusinessmanlenderbankingtraderbillionaire

How many bankers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to remove the bulb and drop it, the other to sell it before it crashes.

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What kind of porn do bankers watch?

Trans action.

Most people want to be bankers when they grow up

But at this rate they are gonna lose interest

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In 1944, Germany was losing WWII and was desperate for money. Nazi party officials secretely visited Switzerland bankers and offered to trade an entire division of Panzers in exchange for precious metals.

Tanks for the gold!

Why are Irish bankers so successful?

Because their capital's always Dublin.

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OnlyFans’ bankers were going to pull out

If they want ‘em to stay in, looks like they’ll need to go with Plan B

In Heaven the cooks are French, the policemen are English, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and the bankers are Swiss..

In Hell..


The cooks are English, the policemen are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the bankers are Italian.

Those poor bankers...

no, seriously, they're poor now.

A 2018 report showed that the vast majority of bankers have no close friends

Apparently they're all loaners

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The bankers wager

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.


After a lengthy discussions the president of the Bank asked ...

Why are bankers sad?

They always drink a loan.

How do rural bankers speak?

Withdrawl

A bankers mother died recently and he contacted his socially isolated brother to see if he could help in any way.

Leave me a loan, the brother said.

Why do politicians, bankers and mafia bosses like to play golf?

Because you can play that in handcuffs too.

Why do Bankers make for great lovers

Because they know the penalty for early withdrawals

Bankers are so antisocial.

They're a bunch of loaners.

Haven’t you heard? Some pirates are going for a career change to bankers, and they’ve got good rates.

Pi-rates.

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Bankers

A guy walks into a bank and he goes up to a teller and says "I want to open a fucking account."

The teller's eyebrows shoot up and she says, "Excuse me?!"

And again the guys says, "I want to open a fucking bank account."

"You can't talk to me that way," she says, "I'm going to g...

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.

The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"

The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."

The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Ro...

What's a bankers Favorite place to go on vacation?

The Czech Republic

New research shows there are no Ginger Bankers...

Survey results suggested that although many wanted to work in finance, they wern't able to sell their soul to Satan...

The Florists wife was Rose

The weatherman’s wife was May

The bankers wife was Penny

And the senators wife was Peggy.

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A Banker parks his brand new Porshce...

... in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off. More than a little distraught, the Banker grabs his mobile and calls the police.

Five minutes later, the p...

The misunderstanding (joke)

One day, a man from America who has recently moved to Britain, is meeting with an employer. The employer says “ hi, it’s nice to meet you! So what did you do for a living in America?”. The man replies “oh,I was a baker”, but because of the different accents, the employer heard “ oh, I was a banker “...

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