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Placid Jokes

Robert Mueller has uncovered that Donald Trump dropped Quaaludes with the entire USSR hockey team prior to their stunning defeat to the US at the 1980 Olympics "Miracle on Ice" in Lake Placid, NY. So what's the crime in that?

He quaalluded with the Russians

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Aquarium [NSFW]

So this guy who works in an aquarium gets summoned by his boss, who says to him: "I just walked by the dolphin tank and they're feeling very amorous. They're doing all sorts of things to each other. In two hours we've got three bus loads of second graders coming, and we can't have them watching thos...

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A bad time in hell

This really bad guy, eventually died and went to hell, in hell, in hell, the devil appeared in front of the guy

Devil: I see that you are now in hell, I have 5 doors wich you can choose, once you enter, there is no way of coming back, and you will be destined to spent eternity inside

*...

Fishing tickle

In the window of a hardware store was a sign inscribed 'Fishing Tickle.'

A customer drew the proprietor's attention to the spelling. 'Hasn't anyone told you of it before?' asked the customer.

'Oh, yes,' the proprietor responded placidly, 'many have mentioned it. But whenever they come ...

A priest, a bishop, and the Pope are enjoying a leisurely day of fishing...

...when the bishop stands up, rocking their dinghy a little as he stretches. "Well, I'm parched!" he announces. "Back in a verse," he adds before stepping out of the boat, casually walking across the lake to the cooler. *Amazing, he is truly blessed by the Lord to walk across water,* thinks the Pope...

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Two boys go on a visit to the zoo.

After wandering around looking at all the different animals, they finally make their way to the gorilla exhibit. One boy looks to the other, says "Watch this," and sticks his fingers in his ears and looks at the gorilla. To his friend's astonishment, the gorilla copies him. He then opens his eyes wi...

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