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Ash Wednesday Jokes

On Ash Wednesday I will be giving up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights.

It's going to be completely Excel Lent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ash Wednesday circa 1939 to 1945

Ash Wednesday under Nazi Germany was celebrated very differently. The Nazis celebrated the Reich way.

Ash Wednesday was yesterday so my family is going to be eating a lot more legumes

Mostly lentils

What’s Thanos’ favourite holiday?

Ash Wednesday

CHURCH SQUIRRELS

There were five houses of religion in a small town:
The Presbyterian Church,
The BaptistChurch , 
The MethodistChurch , 
The Catholic Church and 
The Jewish Synagogue. 

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels. 

One day, the Presbyterian Churchcalled a ...

My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling...

But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penitent man decided to give up sex for Lent...

A penitent man decided to give up sex for the Lenten season. His wife was not informed of this situation, however. One the second night after Ash Wednesday, she showed some interest in relations. Rebuffing her advances he said, "I'm sorry, honey--I can't. It's Lent."

Angrily, she replied, "T...

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