Steven Spielberg's Next Movie

Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.

Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."

Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have...

I had a one night stand with a girl the other night...

At the beginning of the night I played piano for her and she said I was just like Amadeus or Beethoven.

From that point on I knew she was never going to call me Bach.

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

In the late 90s, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sly Stallone auditioned for a film about classical musicians.

The producers brought the two of them into their office to go over potential roles for them.

Before they could even get a word out, Stallone says “I wanna be that Amadeus guy.”

The producers exchange looks, nod and say, “You got it Sly.” They turn to Arnold, “And what about you.”
...

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.