My friend and I frequently give conjugal visits to an all-female prison, to remind the inmates what it's like to have a selfless guy go down on them.

It just gives us some scents of perp-puss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel and Peter Fonda are hanging out towards the end of the Swinging Sixties...

*Easy Rider* has just come out, Simon and Garfunkel are about to release *Bridge Over Troubled Water*, and the three men are the epitome of counter-culture cool. They're all pretty stoned, and Paul Simon turns to Peter Fonda, and says, "Hey, Peter, you wanna see something really groovy?"

Pete...

Perfume is a very logical business.

It always makes scents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.

There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. If he does so, he will be allowed to enter Heaven. The catch? At the end of the 1,000 year period, if the man asks to be let out of...

I bought a broken scented candle

When it was lit it just didn't make scents.

A woman purchased a new incense burner. However, she got very confused since it wasn't working.

It made no damn scents.

My daughter asked me why there are a lot of soaps that smell like lavender.

I said "It's just a popular smell that a lot of people like, like sweet orange, lemongrass and rosemary." She paused and then nodded and replied:

"Yes, that seems like common scents."

A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango

They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

Yankee candle, known for its fragranced candle line of products has revealed it is making an odourless candle for the first time ever

It makes no scents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's funny how certain scents can bring back memories of people we associated with those scents

like how I remember my ex every time I take a shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

K-9 Super Dog

My dog, Enforcer, has extremely sensitive olfactory receptors. I have trained him to be able to detect everything from bombs and drugs to cancer.

We do a lot of training for the police and the process can be very annoying. There is always at least one officer that doesn't believe a dog can d...

Candles

"So, what's special about this candle?"

"Sir, this candle is made of a very enriched burning material, it will therefore, once lit, last several days before it is burned out. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, makes sense. And what about this one?"

"This candle is special because there ...

I think it’s a great idea to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that’s just my two scents.

I woke up confused and unable to smell

I feel like nothing makes scents anymore

Need help. My Glade air freshener stopped working. I can't find anything wrong with it.

It just doesn't make any scents.

I totally understand why people work at fragrance factories...

Makes scents...

Just invented a thought controlled air-freshener.

It makes scents, if you think about it.

A man is on a tour of the Yankee Candle Factory

A man was taking a tour of the Yankee Candle factory when he suddenly saw an incredibly large machine and had no idea what it was. he asked the employee giving the tour what it was, and the employee replied, “Oh! That’s our patented Yankee Candle Maker 5000™️!” The man seemed content and said to him...

Why did the exotic perfume salesman continue going out during lockdown?

He had no common scents

Whenever I fart, I let people know that that's my thoughts on the matter.

I'm just giving them my two scents.

You should get a candle.

If you have a smelly room I would recommend getting a candle. It just makes scents.

What do you call a rapper with flatulence?

50 scents.

Never ask a skunk for their opinion.

You might get their 2 scents.

I had the greatest sense of a fulfilled purpose back in that marine corps.

*wait...stupid autocorrect...*

*scents *porpoise *corpse

If I had to smell like two things for the rest of my life, I'd pick lavender and citrus.

But that's just my two scents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I was offered sex by an 18 year old female...

Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as ...

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Wow.. I don't know what this world is coming to....

Today I was offered sex with a very attractive 21yr old girl...in exchange I was supposed to advertise some sort of bathroom cleaning product to my reddit friends. I couldn't do it tho because of my high morals and strong will power. Just as strong as AJOX the super strong bathroom cleaner, now avai...

I was confused as to why my neighbor started selling empty perfume bottles...

It made no scents

I bought a candle and at first I was confused because it didn’t smell like anything...

but eventually it made scents.

Why did the perfume maker end up in the mental hospital?

Because he stopped making scents

I'm addicted to buying hatchets from other countries because of the smell.

I just love Foreign Axe Scents


**Taken from Axe Junkies facebook group I'm in.

I decided not to keep the skunk I bought and returned it to the vendor because...

it didn't make scents.

My local candle factory just got randomly shut down.

It makes no scents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than poop?

It’s just plain common scents.

I could not resist buying a skunk today at our local pet store.

It just made so much scents to me.

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