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Demolition Jokes

A banker, a blacksmith, and a demolitions expert are all on a small plane.

The engine on the plane starts to fail and the pilot says to the three passengers on board
“Throw your least important belongings over the plane so that we can lighten the load on the engine”

The banker decides that his pennies weigh the most and have the least value so he throws all of th...

Job Fair I

I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants, but I had to give it up. There was no place to park.

Then I went to work for a company at prints calendars. But I knew from the start that my days were numbered.

So I went to work for a moving company. They told me to vacate the premis...

What's a demolition expert's favorite cheese?

Debris.

Why are demolition experts and dominatrixes alike?

They both like wrecking balls

A demolition company recently made the decision to demolish a stable.

Of course, there were some neighsayers, but that’s to be expected.

What’s the best kind of car to use in a demolition derby?

Dodge

Who do musicians call when they need demolition work completed?

A wrecker company!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At age 70 I participated in my first demolition derby today and my tires flew off my car.

I guess it's time for me to retire.

So, a young man was in demolitions training from a multi-campaign veteran. During drills he responded:

Okay, Boomer

The demolition workers performed at the workers event last night.

Heard they brought down the house with their act.

Did you see the movie about the demolition team?

It did a great job of breaking the fourth wall.

One side thinks it will end up like Judge Dredd, while the other side things it will be Demolition Man...

But the truth is, we are The Expendables.

I got a friend who is a demolition expert. One day, I made a bet with him, a dollar that he couldnt raze the whole neighbourhood

No matter who wins, its still four quarters gone

If my love life was a movie it would be Demolition Man...

...starring Sylvester Still-alone.

A demolition expert goes on stage during open mic night...

He proceeds to bring the house down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Boy came home from Sunday School

His mother asked what he learned that day, the boy replied.

'They were teaching us about Moses. Moses had to take the Jews across the Red Sea, so he ordered his military engineers to build a bridge so they can cross the Red Sea, but the Egyptians came chasing after them , so moses ordered his...

A hooker is preparing her taxes...

comes across a field where she is to specify her job details.

Occupation: Contractor

Details: demolition of temporary erections

Possible OC??

What's the difference between a demolition derby and some drunks on a bus?


One's a bar-crawl. The other's a car-brawl.

Name’s Juan

Names Juan. A few years ago I’d been living with my girlfriend in her apartment. I’ve been into video games since I was a kid and never took a real interest in learning practical things like how to hit a nail with a hammer. Girlfriend and I met in college and since graduating and moving in together ...

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