80's Jokes - 34 Hilarious 80's Jokes

A couple in their 80's

A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things, so they decided to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man get...

I heard a bunch of former soviet space engineers started an 80's cover band...

they called themselves Buran Buran

My Father says he was in an 80's band...

I don't believe him but he's ADAMANT (sorry, I made that up!)

Could somebody please tell the name of the 80's comedy based in a bar in Boston starring Ted Danson. I can't for the life of me remember it's name.

Cheers

Everyone in my family has become a huge fan of 80's pop band The Knack

We all have Sharona virus.

Whoever doesn't like 80's music needs a Covid Test...

because the symptoms are they have no taste.

How can you tell you are an 80's kid?

When you are Rick rolled and go "Hey, I love this song!"

I love Florida everything is in the 80's

The temperature, the people, and the IQs.

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands...

There is no cure...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very old joke from a very old book (80's book) in Hebrew I remember to this day (Translated) - insane people in an airplane.

I rephrased it a bit so you could understand it better:
A commercial plane filled with insane people is flying from one place to another.

All of a sudden, the flying crew (Captain & Co-pilot) hears a really big noise from the cabin, and the plane feels like it's shaking.
<...

Which 80's song chorus can help you try to escape Jigsaw?

Everybody cut foot loose!

Back in the 80's I was walking in Belfast when I was accosted by a masked man, brandishing a gun.

He asked "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant"? I replied "Neither, I'm an Atheist". The Gunman was silent for a moment, then finally said "Is that a Catholic Atheist or a Protestant Atheist"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call Jews who love 80's punk?

Bar misfits.

In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah....

But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing what to dress up as for the 80's Action Hero Costume Ball.

"I know", says Stallone, "Lets all go as famous composers. "I'll be Beethoven".

"I'll go as Mozart", says Chuck.

Schwarzenegger gets up and walks swiftly to the door. At the last second, he looks back and says,

"I'll be Bach"

Trying to remember the name of that 80's sitcom set in a bar in Boston

If anybody can help me out that would be great.

Cheers.

I went to the doctor because I can't remember any 80's music...

I asked him what's The Cure?

He said, oh no, its worse than I thought...

A Yakov Smirnoff joke from the 80's

In America you have many channel. In Soviet Russia vee only have 2 channel: KGB1 and KGB2.

KGB1 is station vith KGB agent say all day how great is Mother Russia.

KGB2 is station vith KGB agent say "TURN BACK TO KGB1!"

The doctor said to me, “Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music!” I gasped, “Yikes! What’s The Cure?!”

He yowled, “Oh my God! It’s worse than I thought!”

Just heard 80's singer Enya has bought hew own Rugby Union team.

Their next 3 fixtures are now:
Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A)

This humid weather reminds me of New York in the 80's

Muggy.

Did you know that back in the 80's the alphabet only had 24 letters?

That's because ET went home.

What do you get when you cross an 80's pop star and a cheap floor covering?

Vinyl Ritchie.

My ten year old son just asked me what were the 80's like.

My ten year old son just asked me what were the 80's like.

So I turned the Wi-Fi off and took away his smart phone.

I've just been diagnosed with a rare form of amnesia where I can't remember a small amount of 80's music bands.

Unfortunately there is no cure.

Did you know the 80's pop band "A Flock of Seagulls" is gaining alot of attention in the middle east? They're getting really popular in Pakistan, Afghanistan

And Iran, I ran so far away!

We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music.

Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark

After stating that AC/DC was the best 80's band, my dad got mad and said, "What do you know about the 80's? I bet you don't even know who Whitesnake is!"

I just rolled my eyes and said "ugh, Here I go again!"

Happy father's day!

Me and the wife went to an 80's themed fancy dress party last week. She didn't want me to go as a pop star...

...but i was adamant

With the world hating Russians again

The 80's have truly come back in fashion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old Ladies at the Beach

A man at the nude beach is checking his tan and realizes there's one part of him that isn't tanned. Yep, THAT part. So, he covers it liberally with suntan lotion and proceeds to bury himself in the sand leaving only his mouth, nose, and member exposed.

Two old ladies are walking down the pa...

4 Husbands

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director,"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do porn and heavy metal have in common?

Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's

Doctors need to test Ozzy Osbourne's blood to find the most effective vaccine for COVID...

...He has been eating bats since the 80's and he is still alive.

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