UPJOKE
luigidonkey kongprincess peachnintendobowsercharles martinetshigeru miyamotowariosuper mario 64mario kartmario tennisyoshitoadpaper mariosega

Mario Jokes

What is Mario's favorite state?

Luigiana


(My niece told me this joke last night)

One Day, Mario took peach to a fancy pizzaria

They made their order, then sat down and waited. After a few minutes a busty waitress brought them their pizza. Then they started eating. once their meal was done the waitress came back to see how their meal went. To her and Peach's horror, Mario was so big he broke through the roof. When the waitre...

Why is Mario jealous of Donald Trump?

Because he has been in peach twice now

Mario games are unforgiving...

... there's not mushroom for error

Mario goes to court

The judge says: “you must pay the court $12,000.”

Mario, surprised, asks: “Why?”

The judge replies: “It’s a fine.”

Mario, heartbroken, sadly says: “No itsa not.”

Luigi invites Mario over to play some Nintendo Switch...

...as they get ready to fire up some Smash Bros. Mario notices Luigi has a new avatar.

Mario asks, "Say, Luigi, what kind picture is that?"

Luigi says... "It's a Mii, Mario."

Mario is breaking up with Princess Peach

Peach: Is it me? Is it my fault?


Mario: No, it's-a not-a you, it's-a me, Mario!

EA is releasing a new Mario game!

it’s called Pay-Per-Mario.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Mario say when he found out he got drunk and had sex with a green mushroom?

"Well, I fucked that one up."

What would Mario say if he was a mosquito?

It's-a me, Malario!

Why was Mario furious?

He caught Princess Peach going through his Bowser history

What’s Mario and Luigi clothes made from?

Denim denim denim!

I wanted to revisit my childhood, so I got out Super Mario Bros. and started playing

But soon I realized, no matter how much you try, you can't go back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you use to pick up turtle poop in Mario?

A Koopa Troopa Poopa Scoopa

Why is Mario so healthy???

Because every night he eats a Peach...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mario joke I heard for the first time today:

Mario is a Japanese character, so his family name could be Itsumi, or in Japanese name order…

Itsumi Mario

What is Mario’s favorite brand of chocolate milk?

Yoo-hoo

Where’s Mario’s favorite place to go on vacation?

Oahu

Why was Mario’s kart missing?

It was Toad.

Mario walks into a bar

"Oomph!"

Why did princess peach begin to choke?

Because Mario came down the wrong pipe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Mario get mad on his business trip to Japan?

Everytime he tried to shake someone's hand they would say "Bow Sir!"

My wife doesn't understand why I prefer to play Mario Kart over having relations with her

In Mario Kart, it is a GOOD thing when I finish first

Mario has died from a heart attack while making love to his girlfriend

Rest in Peach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Because Nintendo's beloved character is Japanese, Mario is his LAST name. His first name?

Itsume.

What did Mario say to Peach when they broke up?

It's not you, it's a me a Mario!

What's Mario's favorite Hawaiian island?

O'ahu!

I once asked Mario how to say ‘friend’ in french

He quickly answered: ‘it’s ami’

Did you know that the Mario Bros have a sister?

It's Amy Mario!

If Mario ran a shopping delivery service, what would it be called?

MarioCart

Mario was sick of jumping around all day

He felt like he should be more politically involved. A few weeks ago, his friend Toad helped him set up a TV (mostly for watching trashy reality shows), but Mario became obsessed with US news networks. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, you name it. He had heard before of American democracy, and found it prefera...

Mario is getting old and becomes sick

He needs a caregiver to help him get around the house. His caregiver is Horton the elephant.

After a while, Mario is bedridden with his illness. There's a knock at the door, but Mario is too weak to go see who it is. Horton opens the door. Mario asks, "Horton, who's a here?"

How does Mario communicate after he dies in the game?

He uses a Luigi board.

Why did Mario move to the country?

To eat a lot of Peaches!

What fabric are Mario’s overalls made of?

Denim denim denim

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart?

Because he cant finish a race

Mario, Wario and Luigi went to northern Norway to visit Father Christmas.

Luigi read a big book of Norwegian ethnography before the visit. Wario read a big book about Father Christmas. Mario read a big book about Scandinavian languages.

They had a great time meeting Father Christmas and visiting the workshops, where they spent a little time watching the elves doin...

Donald Duck was walking trough Mario's castle

When He saw the princess He said:

Hi Daisy!

To wich She replied:

I'm Peach Donald.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

Donald Trump must play Mario Kart.

Because he was in the lead but got hit by something blue at the end of the race.

I watched a documentary about Mario the other day

The moment he decided to start eating green mushroom was truly a life-changing event.

Mario is in a court trial for not following traffic rules.

Judge : This is the 10th time you’ve sped at a red light this week. As a punishment you need to pay $ 1000.
Its a fine that you’ve to pay.

Mario : No, itssa not.

Why did Mario storm to the White House?

Because someone wrongly told him that Trump was IN PEACH !!!

Hooking up with my ex is like playing Mario cart

I’ve played this game before and I know I’m gonna end up in 1 of 8 positions

Why didn't Mario complete his presidential term?

He got in Peach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Day 173 without sex

Threw the blue shell in Mario Kart while I was already in first place to remember what it's like to get hit from behind.

Why did Mario get executed for capitalizing the word fence?

Because it’s a capital offense.

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Super Mario and Luigi are sitting around...

Luigi: Hey Mario you lika the women with the big a saggy tits?
Mario: No!
Luigi: Hey Mario, you lika the women with the big a fat ass?
Mario: No!

Luigi: Then why a you fuck my wife?

Gonna go to a morning showing of The Super Mario Bros. Movie when it comes out.

Call that a Charles Matinee.

As soon as Don Cappelli and his thugs entered Mario’s restaurant

...all of the guests immediately stopped what they were doing and quietly left. Don Cappelli’s face was very well-known around the city, and while he was ‘saving’ business after business from going bankrupt and helping families at their time of need, nobody dared ask where his money came from, nor d...

What is the Super Mario's favourite snack?

Banana-nana-nana

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mario

A young man is sitting in a tavern in a small town in Italy, drinking and looking glum. A stern looking local man approaches him and asks,

"What's wrong my friend?"

He says "My partner left me for another man."

"Ah, life can be cruel" says the local. "Take me, I built this bar w...

So Mario is talking to Luigi.

"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

What material did Mario use to make his Halloween costume?

Denim denim denim

What do you call a Super Mario character who likes to be both dominant and submissive?

A Nintendo switch

I love Toad from Super Mario

you know, the little guy with the mushroom head. He always made me laugh.

He's a real fungi.

"It's a boy!" Mario shouted. "It's a boy!"

With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again.

When Mario collects coins with his cap in Super Mario Odissey,...

you for sure know he is very _cappytalistic._

What is Mario's favorite type of insurance?

DentalDentalDental

What is the best adjective to describe Mario's balls?

Peach-like

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nicola and Mario

Three women are talking, the first lady says: when i want a long night of sex I wait my husband come out from shower, I take he's balls and I say "Wow, Nicola! Your balls are so hot!", result: we make 10 time sex!
The day after the second lady says I try it! It work! I wait my husband when he com...

What kind of jean's do Mario prefer?

Denim Denim Denim.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Italian Virginity Test

Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his Bride-to-be is still a Virgin. His doctor says … “Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit: a small can of Red paint, a small can of Blue paint, and a Shovel....

What are Mario and Luigi's pants made of?

DenimDenimDenim

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.