What do you say to Mario when he doesn't get a joke on the Internet?

It's a meme Mario.

What's Mario's favorite search engine?

Yahoo!

What is Mario's favorite state?

Luigiana


(My niece told me this joke last night)

Why is Mario jealous of Donald Trump?

Because he has been in peach twice now

I watched a documentary about Mario the other day

The moment he decided to start eating green mushroom was truly a life-changing event.

What do you call the mother who gave birth to Super Mario?

Mario Maker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you use to pick up turtle poop in Mario?

A Koopa Troopa Poopa Scoopa

Mario, Luigi, Peach met up for the first time in 5 years

It was a Wii Union!

Luigi invites Mario over to play some Nintendo Switch...

...as they get ready to fire up some Smash Bros. Mario notices Luigi has a new avatar.

Mario asks, "Say, Luigi, what kind picture is that?"

Luigi says... "It's a Mii, Mario."

One night mario woke up to find daisy in bed with him

Now that's what I call a nintendo switch

Super Mario walks into a bar and orders a drink. Takes one sip and starts coughing hysterically. Bartender asks “are you ok?”

Mario says “wrong pipe.”

People say mario is "unrealistic"

but if an Italian man jumped on my head I would die and he would be entitled to any coins I have

How does Mario communicate with his recently deceased sibling?

Luigi Board.

What did Mario say when he saw the Alpaca?

Don’t-a worry it’s a false-a llama!

How did Mario break up with the Princess?

He said, "It's not you, it's a me, Mario!"

what did mario kart do when it got hungry

mario kart 8

What's Mario's favourite material?

Denim denim denim!

My wife doesn't understand why I prefer to play Mario Kart over having relations with her

In Mario Kart, it is a GOOD thing when I finish first

Mario was sick of jumping around all day

He felt like he should be more politically involved. A few weeks ago, his friend Toad helped him set up a TV (mostly for watching trashy reality shows), but Mario became obsessed with US news networks. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, you name it. He had heard before of American democracy, and found it prefera...

Have you ever heard the music for Super Mario Galaxy?

It’s out of this world.

One Day, Mario took peach to a fancy pizzaria

They made their order, then sat down and waited. After a few minutes a busty waitress brought them their pizza. Then they started eating. once their meal was done the waitress came back to see how their meal went. To her and Peach's horror, Mario was so big he broke through the roof. When the waitre...

Yesterday, I tried to relive the 80s and play some Super Mario Bros. When they say you can never go back, turns out it's true.

Mario just stops at the edge of the screen.

Why was Mario furious?

He caught Princess Peach going through his Bowser history

Why is Mario so scared of Spanish ghosts?

He’s been playing with “La Ouija” too much.

As soon as Don Cappelli and his thugs entered Mario’s restaurant

...all of the guests immediately stopped what they were doing and quietly left. Don Cappelli’s face was very well-known around the city, and while he was ‘saving’ business after business from going bankrupt and helping families at their time of need, nobody dared ask where his money came from, nor d...

Mario is breaking up with Princess Peach

Peach: Is it me? Is it my fault?


Mario: No, it's-a not-a you, it's-a me, Mario!

How does Super Mario see into the future?

He uses a Luigi board

Where’s Mario’s favorite place to go on vacation?

Oahu

Mario games are unforgiving...

... there's not mushroom for error

Mario goes to court

The judge says: “you must pay the court $12,000.”

Mario, surprised, asks: “Why?”

The judge replies: “It’s a fine.”

Mario, heartbroken, sadly says: “No itsa not.”

Donald Trump must play Mario Kart.

Because he was in the lead but got hit by something blue at the end of the race.

What material did Mario use to make his Halloween costume?

Denim denim denim

Mario comes back from The Mushroom Kingdom and finds hundreds of parking tickets on his van.

He goes to court, is told that his total is $14,652 and asks the Judge why he has to pay all that money.

Judge - It's a fine.

Mario - No, its a not fine!

A Father’s Day joke my 8 year old son made up for me today - Why are you so special to Mario?

You’re the first 1-up in the morning!

Why did Princess Peach choke?

Mario came down the wrong pipe.

I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, De...

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The reason why I'm getting a divorce...

The reason why I'm getting a divorce is because when I woke up and it was my birthday, my wife didn't acknowledge my birthday, my son didn't acknowledge my birthday,

I went to work, and my co-workers didn't acknowledge my birthday, and my manager called me in and said "Mario! come in here ri...

Donald Duck was walking trough Mario's castle

When He saw the princess He said:

Hi Daisy!

To wich She replied:

I'm Peach Donald.

I wanted to revisit my childhood, so I got out Super Mario Bros. and started playing

But soon I realized, no matter how much you try, you can't go back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Mario say when he found out he got drunk and had sex with a green mushroom?

"Well, I fucked that one up."

EA is releasing a new Mario game!

it’s called Pay-Per-Mario.

What is the Super Mario's favourite snack?

Banana-nana-nana

So, my Italian friend was asking what the character was on my Nintendo profile...

I replied: “It’s a Mii, Mario”

Mario is in a court trial.

Judge : Mario! This is the 10th time you’ve been caught for speeding. You have to pay $1000 now. Its a fine!

Mario : no.. itssa not.

Mario knocked on a car window looking to score some shrooms.

The driver said, "Sorry Mario, but your dealer is in another car-stle".

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

Italians are always adding -a to words. (It's-a me, Mario!)

I find it to be a horrible corruption of the English language.

I say pizz and past, like a _real_ American.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is sitting in a tavern in a small town in Italy, drinking and looking glum. A stern looking local man approaches him and asks, "What's wrong my friend?"

He says "My partner left me for another man."


"Ah, life can be cruel" says the local. "Take me, I built this bar with my bare hands. Foundation to chimney. You think they call me Mario the builder? No. Come with me."


Mario takes the man to the window.


"You see...

The body of Mario's former nemesis was found in his jungle province this morning.

It was in a state of DK.

Why did Mario storm to the White House?

Because someone wrongly told him that Trump was IN PEACH !!!

How did Mario feel after getting a kiss from the princess?

Peachy.

Mario decided to take up an extra job at the bank.

He had only been working a few weeks and was having a rough day when suddenly a masked man bursts through the door and yells: "This is a robbery!"

This was the last straw for Mario and pulls a shotgun out of his desk, aims it at the man and gives him til the count of 3 to get out or hell blas...

What did Super Mario's French teacher say when Mario mispronounced the word for "friend"?

It's *ami*, Mario!

what are mario’s overalls made of?

denim denim denim

Why did Mario move to the country?

To eat a lot of Peaches!

Why does Mario prefer to hang out with Toad more than Luigi?

Because he's a fungi.

What is Mario's favorite type of pants?

Denim denim denim.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Super Mario and Luigi are sitting around...

Luigi: Hey Mario you lika the women with the big a saggy tits?
Mario: No!
Luigi: Hey Mario, you lika the women with the big a fat ass?
Mario: No!

Luigi: Then why a you fuck my wife?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working from home is great! I’m basically getting paid $30 / hr to play Mario kart and have sex with my wife!

That’s like $3 per race and $0.50 every time I have sex!

The difference between Nick Mullen and the small version of Mario

Is about 2 feet, with Nick Mullen being smaller than tiny Mario. Relatively speaking.

Marisa Tomei is an anagram of

It's a-me, Mario

What do you call someone who has a favorite map on Mario Kart?

Racist.

What did Mario say when he arrived in Africa?

It's a me, Malario!

Back when I was younger, I looked in the Mario Kart Wii manual and saw it had Classic Controller Support. I thought, "How the hell do you use that?"

Looking back now that I have a Wii again, I looked at my Wii remote and said, "How the hell did I use that?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Day 173 without sex

Threw the blue shell in Mario Kart while I was already in first place to remember what it's like to get hit from behind.

I love Toad from Super Mario

you know, the little guy with the mushroom head. He always made me laugh.

He's a real fungi.

What is the best adjective to describe Mario's balls?

Peach-like

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why isn’t Hitler in Mario Kart?

Because he can’t finish a race

What are Mario and Luigi's pants made of?

DenimDenimDenim

President Trump decided to play Mario Kart with his cabinet

He thought that this would be be a good bonding exercise with his staff so he bought a Wii and ordered his whole office to come into the oval office

Once everyone arrived there was a huge argument on who would play as what character, because everyone wanted to be Mario. Trump decided that thi...

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

Why did Mario get fired from being a plumber?

He never put his caulk away.

Link: when I get hurt I lose hearts

**Sonic:** when I get hurt I drop rings

**Mario: *[self conscious about his height]*:** can-a we talk about-a something else-a?

Why did Princess Peach dump Mario for Toad?

Because he just wasn't as much of a fun guy.

This morning I wrote a note on my container of spaghetti that read "Marios noodles" and left my lunch in the fridge...

At lunch, I see Luigi eating my Spaghetti!

I say, "Hey, didn't you see the note?" Those noodles were mine! you owe me a dollar!"

Outraged, Luigi stood and pointed at the crumpled up note. "No a pasta fee!"

"It's a boy!" Mario shouted. "It's a boy!"

With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again.

You guys know what Mario's favorite type of pants are?

*Denim Denim Denim*


edit - say it out loud if you aren't getting it.

So Mario is talking to Luigi.

"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

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