What is Mario's favorite state?

Luigiana


(My niece told me this joke last night)

What's Mario's favorite search engine?

Yahoo!

What do you call the mother who gave birth to Super Mario?

Mario Maker

One night mario woke up to find daisy in bed with him

Now that's what I call a nintendo switch

Luigi invites Mario over to play some Nintendo Switch...

...as they get ready to fire up some Smash Bros. Mario notices Luigi has a new avatar.

Mario asks, "Say, Luigi, what kind picture is that?"

Luigi says... "It's a Mii, Mario."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you use to pick up turtle poop in Mario?

A Koopa Troopa Poopa Scoopa

Mario, Luigi, Peach met up for the first time in 5 years

It was a Wii Union!

Mario is breaking up with Princess Peach

Peach: Is it me? Is it my fault?


Mario: No, it's-a not-a you, it's-a me, Mario!

Super Mario walks into a bar and orders a drink. Takes one sip and starts coughing hysterically. Bartender asks “are you ok?”

Mario says “wrong pipe.”

One Day, Mario took peach to a fancy pizzaria

They made their order, then sat down and waited. After a few minutes a busty waitress brought them their pizza. Then they started eating. once their meal was done the waitress came back to see how their meal went. To her and Peach's horror, Mario was so big he broke through the roof. When the waitre...

What did Mario Kart do when it got hungry?

Mario Kart 8

People say mario is "unrealistic"

but if an Italian man jumped on my head I would die and he would be entitled to any coins I have

How does Mario communicate with his recently deceased sibling?

Luigi Board.

Where’s Mario’s favorite place to go on vacation?

Oahu

Have you ever heard the music for Super Mario Galaxy?

It’s out of this world.

Mario, Wario and Luigi went to northern Norway to visit Father Christmas.

Luigi read a big book of Norwegian ethnography before the visit. Wario read a big book about Father Christmas. Mario read a big book about Scandinavian languages.

They had a great time meeting Father Christmas and visiting the workshops, where they spent a little time watching the elves doin...

What did the clone of Mario say?

"It's a me, Mario!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mario joke I heard for the first time today:

Mario is a Japanese character, so his family name could be Itsumi, or in Japanese name order…

Itsumi Mario

A Judge forces Mario to pay 50,000 dollars

Mario: why are you making me pay so much?
Judge: it’s a fine
Mario: no itsa not

My wife doesn't understand why I prefer to play Mario Kart over having relations with her

In Mario Kart, it is a GOOD thing when I finish first

Mario games are unforgiving...

... there's not mushroom for error

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

why did princess peach choke?

Mario came down the wrong pipe

What is Super Mario’s Favorite Type of Clothing?

Denim denim denim

Mario goes to court

The judge says: “you must pay the court $12,000.”

Mario, surprised, asks: “Why?”

The judge replies: “It’s a fine.”

Mario, heartbroken, sadly says: “No itsa not.”

What’s the difference between Trump and Mario?

Trump was impeached, Mario was in Peach

My son is in hospital because of one little driving mistake.

He beat me at Mario Kart.

What's Mario's favourite material?

Denim denim denim!

Yesterday, I tried to relive the 80s and play some Super Mario Bros. When they say you can never go back, turns out it's true.

Mario just stops at the edge of the screen.

Why was Mario furious?

He caught Princess Peach going through his Bowser history

Why is Mario so scared of Spanish ghosts?

He’s been playing with “La Ouija” too much.

How does Super Mario see into the future?

He uses a Luigi board

A Father’s Day joke my 8 year old son made up for me today - Why are you so special to Mario?

You’re the first 1-up in the morning!

What did Mario say when he saw the Alpaca?

Don’t-a worry it’s a false-a llama!

As soon as Don Cappelli and his thugs entered Mario’s restaurant

...all of the guests immediately stopped what they were doing and quietly left. Don Cappelli’s face was very well-known around the city, and while he was ‘saving’ business after business from going bankrupt and helping families at their time of need, nobody dared ask where his money came from, nor d...

Mario was sick of jumping around all day

He felt like he should be more politically involved. A few weeks ago, his friend Toad helped him set up a TV (mostly for watching trashy reality shows), but Mario became obsessed with US news networks. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, you name it. He had heard before of American democracy, and found it prefera...

Donald Duck was walking trough Mario's castle

When He saw the princess He said:

Hi Daisy!

To wich She replied:

I'm Peach Donald.

Mario comes back from The Mushroom Kingdom and finds hundreds of parking tickets on his van.

He goes to court, is told that his total is $14,652 and asks the Judge why he has to pay all that money.

Judge - It's a fine.

Mario - No, its a not fine!

Mario is in a court trial for not following traffic rules.

Judge : This is the 10th time you’ve sped at a red light this week. As a punishment you need to pay $ 1000.
Its a fine that you’ve to pay.

Mario : No, itssa not.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Mario say when he found out he got drunk and had sex with a green mushroom?

"Well, I fucked that one up."

EA is releasing a new Mario game!

it’s called Pay-Per-Mario.

What is the Super Mario's favourite snack?

Banana-nana-nana

Donald Trump must play Mario Kart.

Because he was in the lead but got hit by something blue at the end of the race.

I wanted to revisit my childhood, so I got out Super Mario Bros. and started playing

But soon I realized, no matter how much you try, you can't go back.

Italians are always adding -a to words. (It's-a me, Mario!)

I find it to be a horrible corruption of the English language.

I say pizz and past, like a _real_ American.

How did Mario feel after getting a kiss from the princess?

Peachy.

What material did Mario use to make his Halloween costume?

Denim denim denim

I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, De...

Mario and Luigi walk into a DVD shop.

Mario holds up a movie.

“Is-a that the exorcist?” Luigi asked.

“This is It, Luigi.” Mario replied.

The body of Mario's former nemesis was found in his jungle province this morning.

It was in a state of DK.

Why did Mario storm to the White House?

Because someone wrongly told him that Trump was IN PEACH !!!

Why does Mario prefer to hang out with Toad more than Luigi?

Because he's a fungi.

Why did Mario move to the country?

To eat a lot of Peaches!

What did Super Mario's French teacher say when Mario mispronounced the word for "friend"?

It's *ami*, Mario!

Why was Mario interested in Princess Peach in the first place?

He heard she had a plum bum.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is sitting in a tavern in a small town in Italy, drinking and looking glum. A stern looking local man approaches him and asks, "What's wrong my friend?"

He says "My partner left me for another man."


"Ah, life can be cruel" says the local. "Take me, I built this bar with my bare hands. Foundation to chimney. You think they call me Mario the builder? No. Come with me."


Mario takes the man to the window.


"You see...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Super Mario and Luigi are sitting around...

Luigi: Hey Mario you lika the women with the big a saggy tits?
Mario: No!
Luigi: Hey Mario, you lika the women with the big a fat ass?
Mario: No!

Luigi: Then why a you fuck my wife?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working from home is great! I’m basically getting paid $30 / hr to play Mario kart and have sex with my wife!

That’s like $3 per race and $0.50 every time I have sex!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why isn’t Hitler in Mario Kart?

Because he can’t finish a race

The difference between Nick Mullen and the small version of Mario

Is about 2 feet, with Nick Mullen being smaller than tiny Mario. Relatively speaking.

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

What is the best adjective to describe Mario's balls?

Peach-like

Back when I was younger, I looked in the Mario Kart Wii manual and saw it had Classic Controller Support. I thought, "How the hell do you use that?"

Looking back now that I have a Wii again, I looked at my Wii remote and said, "How the hell did I use that?

What is Mario's favorite dessert?

Peach pie.

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim

What do you call someone who has a favorite map on Mario Kart?

Racist.

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

President Trump decided to play Mario Kart with his cabinet

He thought that this would be be a good bonding exercise with his staff so he bought a Wii and ordered his whole office to come into the oval office

Once everyone arrived there was a huge argument on who would play as what character, because everyone wanted to be Mario. Trump decided that thi...

Why did Mario get fired from being a plumber?

He never put his caulk away.

What are Mario and Luigi's pants made of?

DenimDenimDenim

What did Mario say when he arrived in Africa?

It's a me, Malario!

So Mario is talking to Luigi.

"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

"It's a boy!" Mario shouted. "It's a boy!"

With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again.

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