I met Michael Jackson once when I was 9 years old

It was a touching experience.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

Well, he had so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into LEGOs... Now kids play with him for a change.

Did you hear they were making a McJackson burger for Michael Jackson

It a 50 year old piece of meat in a 12 year old bun

I used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....

Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller,
Beating it.....

We named our guitar school after Michael Jackson

First lesson: fingering A minor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does it look in Michael Jackson's basement?

Stupid question. Every child knows that.

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor

Michael Jackson: Help doctor I've been shot.
Doctor: I cant fix that but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again.

Why did Michael Jackson love twenty six year olds?

Because there were twenty of them.

I heard Michael Jackson actually died of food poisoning.

He ate some 12 year old nuts

What's the name of the clothes shop Michael Jackson visited the most?

Billie JEANS

Whats the first thing Michael Jackson does when he spawns in on Minecraft?

He punches a trhee-hee

Why Did Michael Jackson's Guitarist Quit?

Michael asked him to drop the G-string and put the D into A minor.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite lunchtime meal?

Grilled Chee-heese

What did Michael Jackson have in common with a second-place NASCAR driver?

They both came in a little behind.

I don’t think Michael Jackson would make for a good documentary

He’d make a better thriller

Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart (NSFW)

He heard little boys pants were half off

Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?

He was airing his blanket.

What is Michael Jackson’s favourite Indian city?

New Del he-he

How do you know it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

Because the big hand is touching the little hand.

Why did Michael Jackson molest young boys?

Becuase his mother always told him dont go around breaking young girls hearts.

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar...

...and walk right out because it's 18+

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as Michael Jackson

My pronouns are He/Hee

Michael Jackson had the most impressive birth to death story arc or any person.

He was born a poor black boy and died a rich white woman.

Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 200m of a school?

Because he’s dead

I opened the fridge today and the milk was singing a Michael Jackson song

I think it’s Bad

Why can’t Michael Jackson play chess?

He can’t decide which color to use

What is Dwight Schrutes favourite Michael Jackson song?

Beet it.

Michael Jackson

Remember laughing at Michael Jackson wearing a mask and gloves?

Now you are all out there looking like you wanna be starting something!

I'm having mixed feelings about being a Michael Jackson impersonator.

On one hand, you get to wear a cool white glove.

On the other hand, you don't.

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants.

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

What would you hear if you had Michael Jackson and Kanye West in the same room?


Why do people like telling Michael Jackson jokes.

Because when they do he goes HeHe.

What did Michael Jackson say when he found two molecules of helium?


What do you call Michael Jackson's DNA?

Billie Genes

I really wanted to share a link to Weird Al's 1984 Michael Jackson parody today but I realized

That I can't have my Cake Day and Eat It, too.

As you may know, we have approached the 10th anniversary on the death of Michael Jackson...

I think we should pause and think of all those he's touched.

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Michael Jackson wrote a song about my sex life

Beat it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People say Michael Jackson only became a paedophile when he was white. [NSFW]

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

What do Michael Jackson and a game console have in common?

Both are made of plastic and little boys turn them on

What do Michael Jackson and USA have in common?

They both desperately wanted to be white. And the last great thing they did was a moon walk.

How did michael jackson pick his nose

With a catalog

When is Michael Jackson's bed time?

When the big hand touches the little hand

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What pronouns does a person who sexualy identifies as Michael Jackson use?


What did the mother say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

Can you get out of my son?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a party with R. Kelly and Michael Jackson always have?

Hee hee and Pee pee.

You sick fucks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just saw the Michael Jackson documentary

I didn’t realize how many kids were butt-hurt after Leaving Neverland

Michael Jackson is a lot like caviar.

They both come on little crackers.

What do you call Michael Jackson on the toilet?

The King of Plop.

Michael Jackson and his wife didn’t get “his” and “hers” towels.

Nope. Instead, they got “she” and “HEE HEE HEEEE”

A lot of people think Michael Jackson's Pronouns were He/Him, but in reality,

Michael's preferred prounouns were He/He

I have an extremely rare phobia of Michael Jackson joining the group that sang "Stayin' Alive."

It gives me the Hee-Hee Bee Gees.

NSFW What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Shopping Bag?

One is white, plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with and you put your groceries in the other.

What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?

They were ridiculed when they played in the minors.

What college did Michael Jackson go to?

Bringham Young University

Inspired by another Michael Jackson joke in the thread today . . .

How can you tell when Michael Jackson has company over?

Big Wheels in the driveway.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?

One got burned for Pepsi, the other got burned for coke."

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite fish?

Ahi-hi Tuna!

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon.

Michal Jackson touched kids

What does Jeffrey Epstein and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both make the kids go “oh no”

A man in the supermarket reminded me of Michael Jackson today.

He said, “Don’t forget about Michael Jackson”.

(NSFW) Did you hear they're having a Michael Jackson sale at Walmart?

A - Boy's pants are half off.

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratching the hell out of his coffin lid.

Michael Jackson’s boat sank

The life guard sent a crew out to rescue him, they were looking for a lifeboat but they found him bobbing up and down on a buoy

Yanni trips on a cable while performing with Michael Jackson. MJ runs up to him and asks

Yanni are you okay?

So Yanni are you okay

Are you okay Yanni

What are Michael Jacksons pronouns?

-in high pitched voice- He/Him

Alright I gotta get outta here, you've been great, is this the exit?

I really dislike people doing Michael Jackson impressions

Whenever I see one, I turn 360 degrees and walk away.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a bookie with dwarfism?

One’s bad. The other is a little better.

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