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Michael Jackson Jokes

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

Well, he had so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into LEGOs... Now kids play with him for a change.

Did you hear they were making a McJackson burger for Michael Jackson

It a 50 year old piece of meat in a 12 year old bun

We named our guitar school after Michael Jackson

First lesson: fingering A minor

I used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....

Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller,
Beating it.....

I heard Michael Jackson actually died of food poisoning.

He ate some 12 year old nuts

What did Michael Jackson have in common with a second-place NASCAR driver?

They both came in a little behind.

Whats the first thing Michael Jackson does when he spawns in on Minecraft?

He punches a trhee-hee

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor

Michael Jackson: Help doctor I've been shot.
Doctor: I cant fix that but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again.

What's the name of the clothes shop Michael Jackson visited the most?

Billie JEANS

Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

What is Michael Jackson’s favourite Indian city?

New Del he-he

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar...

...and walk right out because it's 18+

How do you know it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

Because the big hand is touching the little hand.

I don’t think Michael Jackson would make for a good documentary

He’d make a better thriller

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump Michael Jackson and Snoop Dog are on a plane

Donald Trump, Michael Jackson any Snoop Dog are on a plane with 3 boys from make-a-wish foundation the pilot yells back the plane is going down and that there are only 3 parachutes. Snoop says "give them to the children. Trump yells "fuck the children". Michael Jackson look around and asks "but do w...

Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart (NSFW)

He heard little boys pants were half off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as Michael Jackson

My pronouns are He/Hee

How did Michael Jackson get corona?

He was only wearing one glove.

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants.

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Michael Jackson wrote a song about my sex life

Beat it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People say Michael Jackson only became a paedophile when he was white. [NSFW]

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

Why did Michael Jackson molest young boys?

Becuase his mother always told him dont go around breaking young girls hearts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just saw the Michael Jackson documentary

I didn’t realize how many kids were butt-hurt after Leaving Neverland

I'm having mixed feelings about being a Michael Jackson impersonator.

On one hand, you get to wear a cool white glove.

On the other hand, you don't.

What did Michael Jackson tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her

It’s not you it’s Mee-Hee

Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?

He was airing his blanket.

Why cant Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone...

Because he's dead

What did Lisa Marie say to Michael Jackson when she wasn't in the mood?

Just beat it.

A friend told me that there is a place the celebrities go after they fake their deaths. Michael Jackson is there. Elvis. Tupac.

I thanked him for telling me about this

He replied "No Biggie."

Have you heard of the Michael Jackson diet?

You just have to start with the man in the mirror, and ask him to change his weighs.

As you may know, we have approached the 10th anniversary on the death of Michael Jackson...

I think we should pause and think of all those he's touched.

Q: What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive today in 2022?

A: Knocking on the lid of his coffin.

Hee hee!

I really wanted to share a link to Weird Al's 1984 Michael Jackson parody today but I realized

That I can't have my Cake Day and Eat It, too.

What do Michael Jackson and a game console have in common?

Both are made of plastic and little boys turn them on

Why doesn't Michael Jackson drink coffee?

Because he prefers "Tea-hee!"

What do Michael Jackson and a fighter pilot shooting down a balloon have in common?

Both are King of Pop.

How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalog

TIL in the early '80s, Michael Jackson almost founded a Mexican restaurant, and "Billy Jean" was originally recorded as a promo for the restaurant

He was going to call it "Nacho Daddy"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*

What's Michael Jacksons favorite gaming console?

Nintendo Wii-heeee

Michael Jackson

Remember laughing at Michael Jackson wearing a mask and gloves?

Now you are all out there looking like you wanna be starting something!

What do Jesus and Michael Jackson have in common?

They were both born brown - but remembered white

What do Michael Jackson and the Berlin Wall have in common?

They were both really big in the 80s, and then bits started falling off of them.

Why did Michael Jackson like twenty nine year olds?

There's 20 of them

Did you hear what they did with Michael Jackson’s body?

Since he was like 90% plastic they melted him into legos and let little boys play with him for once.

What would you hear if you had Michael Jackson and Kanye West in the same room?

YE-YE.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What pronouns does a person who sexualy identifies as Michael Jackson use?

He/heee

What do Michael Jackson and USA have in common?

They both desperately wanted to be white. And the last great thing they did was a moon walk.

I opened the fridge today and the milk was singing a Michael Jackson song

I think it’s Bad

Why do people like telling Michael Jackson jokes.

Because when they do he goes HeHe.

What is Dwight Schrutes favourite Michael Jackson song?

Beet it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When your wife opts to describe your sex life to her friends as ‘like Michael Jackson wrote *those lyrics* just for us’, what is your very worst case scenario?

‘Beat it, Speed Demon. Leave me alone.’

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pyror?

One was burnt by Pepsi and one was burnt by coke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

Michael Jackson, what element comes after Oxygen?

He He!

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-five year olds'?

Because there are 20 of them.





I guess you can adjust the tense since, well you know, he's dead and all.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag?

One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with...

And the other carries groceries.

What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson?

Harambe got punished for touching little kids.

Michael Jackson and his wife didn’t get “his” and “hers” towels.

Nope. Instead, they got “she” and “HEE HEE HEEEE”

How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar?

They both come in little cans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a party with R. Kelly and Michael Jackson always have?

Hee hee and Pee pee.

You sick fucks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade...

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me
Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who
had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by
t...

What is Michael Jackson’s preferred pronoun?

Hee hee

(NSFW) Did you hear they're having a Michael Jackson sale at Walmart?

A - Boy's pants are half off.

What vehicle did Michael Jackson drive?

(Imagine his voice with the crotch grab)

A Kia Sedona!

What college did Michael Jackson go to?

Bringham Young University

Yanni trips on a cable while performing with Michael Jackson. MJ runs up to him and asks

Yanni are you okay?

So Yanni are you okay

Are you okay Yanni

I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson.

I'm not sure which race yet.

What does Jeffrey Epstein and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both make the kids go “oh no”

They say Michael Jackson was the King of Pop

I see him as a world class Fiddler

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon.

Michal Jackson touched kids

I have an extremely rare phobia of Michael Jackson joining the group that sang "Stayin' Alive."

It gives me the Hee-Hee Bee Gees.

I really dislike people doing Michael Jackson impressions

Whenever I see one, I turn 360 degrees and walk away.

Inspired by another Michael Jackson joke in the thread today . . .

How can you tell when Michael Jackson has company over?

Big Wheels in the driveway.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite fish?

Ahi-hi Tuna!

A man in the supermarket reminded me of Michael Jackson today.

He said, “Don’t forget about Michael Jackson”.

Michael Jackson invited a young boy for a sleepover.

Everytime the boy would begin to drop off to sleep, he'd hear a noise, he'd look up and Michael would slink off out of the room and then behind the door. The boy grabbed the pillow and forced his eye to remain open. As soon as the boy fell asleep Michael came back in the room. In the end he could ta...

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