My tinder profile says I'm 6 feet, 2 inches, and 195 pounds, but the girls I match with are always furious when we meet.
I guess they don't realize those are three separate measurements.
A farmer in his field counted 195 cows,
But when he rounded them up he had 200
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The Gunny's Gun (a military joke)...
U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail.
So, the Joint Chiefs of Staff all get together one day at a tavern in Washington D.C. to brainstorm a solution. After many hours of back an...
Why paying professionals is so expensive?
Someone had a broken pump, he tried for hours to fix it but could not. Finally, exasperated he took it to the specialist. The professional took a look at the pump, plugged it in, took out a hammer and hit it once. Immediately the pump started working.
That would be $200 he said to the custom...
A police officer pulls over an elderly woman on the highway.
“Ma’am”, the officer says, “I clocked you at 22 mph. The minimum speed on the highway is 45 mph.”
“But I just saw a 20 mph speed limit sign,” the woman replies.
Chuckling, the officer explains to the woman that the sign she saw was for interstate 20.
He notices that the woman’...
I’m getting sick of all these stupid Republican jokes.
All 195 of them.
A man forgets his daughters birthday
He realizes that it's her birthday while driving home from work. Frantically he pulls over at the first toy store he sees and runs inside. He runs up to the clerk and says "I need a present for my daughter, she likes dolls, do you have any?" "Sure," the clerk says "we have plenty of barbies. W...