Work In Jokes - 36 Hilarious Work In Jokes

A blonde goes to work in tears.

A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died." He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine." Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?" She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I work in a factory that makes McDonalds french fries...

One of co-workers told me yesterday that he's always wanted to put his dick in the Potato Peeler. I tried to talk him out of it, but I could tell he had already made his mind up to do it. I saw him today; he was clearing out his desk. "So you went ahead and did it?" "Yeah, and I got caught, so they ...

I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers...

I said, "Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."

i used to work in a fort cleaning the inside of cannons

then they fired me.

My boss arrived at work in a brand new Lamborghini. I said “wow that’s an amazing car.”

“If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year.”

It must be hard for women to work in the postal service.

It’s such a MAIL dominated industry.

Saw the CEO arriving to work in a Ferrari this morning. He noticed i was looking and he told me "if you work hard for this company, if you stay overtime without asking compensation, if you truly believe you can make a difference and instill the same passion into your colleagues...

... then probably next year I'll be able to go for a Lambo"

I work in retail, a married man made me laugh

Me: Hi sir, can I help you?
Him: Nah I'm just looking for my wife
Me: Oh sorry, we don't sell wives here
Him: Good! Else you'd get a lot of returns!

I used to work in a calender factory.

I got fired for taking a few days off.

My boss pulled up to work in his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied:

"Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."

What’s it like to work in HVAC?

It blows! Lots of venting and heated conversations.

A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach...

Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

Why don't influencer work in nuclear plants.

Because they get paid just in exposure.

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I work in a hospital, and I found a rectal thermometer in my pocket today.

Some asshole must have my pen.

I was hired to work in a mattress shop.

After a while, I found it to be a cushy job.

A group of colleagues go for a night out after work in Singapore...

They join a queue for a nightclub and get chatting to the bouncer.

"So where are you lads from?"

One of the friends replies

"Well I'm from here in Singapore, but my friends are all visiting on business. Kwok and Hung are from Malaysia, Minh is from Vietnam, Liu is from Taiwan, G...

I work in an Auckland restaurant and Jacinda Ardern just came in

She said, "Can I get a large aperitif?"

I said, "I very much doubt it."

Credit to all the schoolboys in 1980s England who were making the exact same joke about Esther Rantzen.

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Why was the Gastroenterologist hired to work in customer service?

He already dealt with assholes all day

I used to work in an art supply store.

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"

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My uncle used to work in a butcher shop. He got fired for putting his dick in the sausage maker...

...to be fair, she got fired too. But then they got married and had a couple kids, so it all worked out.

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A young girl started work in the village chemist shop.

She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.

She had to confide in him her worries about selling the condoms.

"Look," he said. "My regular customers don't a...

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I work in a deli and put my cock in the bagel slicer. I got fired...

... and so did she.

I used to work in the oil and gas industry.

Eventually I had to quit; it was well boring.

I work in a toy factory where dracula dolls are produced...

I only have one colleague at the production line so I have to make every second count.

I used to work in a circus for a few years. I was quite handy.

I was the only person who could get the tent back in the bag.

I used to work in a bakery, didn't really enjoy it and the pay wasn't great...

I just kneaded the dough

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

I always wanted to work in a factory making mirrors,

but sadly right now, I can't see myself doing it..

I could never work in a hardware store.

If I had to screw around with bolts all day I would be nuts.

I used to work in food service, now I work in IT

The biggest difference is the phrase "My server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.

The truth is that Amber Heard won't ever work in movies again.

Her lawyer,"For a difference of $150,000,000, act like the victim ".

Me and my buddy Milton Spilk used to work in a kitchen, chopping up vegetables.

You have to be careful or you can cut yourself. Old Milt had an accident and got cut up pretty bad.

I felt bad about it, but eventually I decided...

Why cry over Milt Spilk?

I used to work in a car wash, but I wasn't very productive.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the most practical place for a painter.

Social distancing will never work in India because...

... by the time you are 6 feet away from one, you will be too close to another person.

I've applied to work in a mirror store.

I hope I get it, I can really see myself working there.

Why did the bunny work in the brewery?

he knew a lot about hops

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