Office Worker Jokes - 18 Hilarious Office Worker Jokes

An office worker went to a store to buy a new shirt,

the salesman asked the worker: can I offer you this Large shirt?

the office worker told him: no, I only wear excel.

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What does a barista, a stripper and a middle aged office worker have in common?

When they return to work, they all say "Well, back to the grind."

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It’s a post office workers last day delivering mail.

At each of the houses he gets a little present.

At one house, a lady opens the door only wearing a garter belt and stockings.

She gives the mailman a long kiss, walks him upstairs and gives him a ride to remember.

Afterwards, she makes home a nice lunch and gives him a dollar bi...

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An office worker reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a dildo. Sighing, he says:

"Some cunt's got my pen"

There was a mystery involving an office worker and a small bag.

It was a brief case.

What do unused chairs and bad office workers have in common?

They sit at a desk and do nothing all day.

An office worker opened his pay envelope to find

his check was short $100. He called the accounting department to voice his complaint.

"You're right, we made a mistake," said the clerk, "but last week we overpaid you $100 and we didn't hear you complaining then."

"Look," said the man, "I can overlook one mistake. But two weeks in...

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What was post office worker's sexuality

She was attracted to mails

One female office worker asks another if she's excited for Valentine's Day

"Nah, it's the same thing every year. My husband buys me flowers, and then expects me to sit with my legs in the air for the rest of the night," she replies.

"What, don't you own a vase?"

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Post office workers are going through the mail and find a letter addressed simply To Santa

Since they've nowhere to send it to, they open the letter and find the most tragic childish scribbling:

"Dear Santa,
My name is Timmy and I live in an orphanage. I have no mom or dad. We have barely any heating and it gets very cold. I know you are very busy, but could you please send me a...

What an answer

A pilot is flying a small single engine plane with a lot of really important execs on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 10m, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. ...

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Letter to God

A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't recei...

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Patenting an apple.

A man walks into a patent office and sits down with an office worker and says he wants to patent an apple. The worker says "Sir, you can't patent an apple". The man says "Take a bite". The office worker takes a bite and surprised yells out "Wow! this tastes like bananas!" The man says "Yeah I know, ...

Three guys sitting on a bench

So a new office worker just joined and was sitting outside for lunch and sees two guys opposite sides of the bench so he sits in the middle eating his food. The guy on the left says,” Well.” The guy on the right says,” Yeah.” The guy in the middle sits there and says,” Well Yeah.” And then later lea...

A giant snake is attacking the city.

It wraps around buildings, crushing them, and swallows people whole. A pair of office workers get eaten, and one of them starts to panic as they wind up in the snake's stomach. However, he notices that the other worker is still calm.

"How can you be so calm," he asks, "when we're going to die...

A reporter is standing at the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide[Long]

a reporter in a small town is standing on the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide when as he is about to jump a road worker approaches him and asks "Are you going to jump?" The reporter replies "yep, there hasn't been a story in this town for years and I'm tired of it." The road worker thinks for ...

Bob, Bob etc.

A redneck woman went to the school to register her boys.
The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.

"And what are their names?" he asked.

"Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and Bob."

"They're ALL named Bob?" he asked....

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It's my birthday today

It's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today."

"Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?," asks the Post Office worker. "33," says the man. "Well, have a g...

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