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White People Jokes

Why do white people own so many pets?

Because they can’t own people anymore.

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

Why do Native Americans hate April?

Because April showers bring May Flowers, and Mayflowers bring white people.

Why shouldn't white people swim?

Crackers get soggy when wet.

How many white people does it take to replace a light bulb?

One to hold the bulb, and the rest to screw the whole world.

To anyone who says white people can't jump...

You obviously haven't seen footage of 9/11.

Why do white people not like playing uno with mexicans?

They take all the green cards

What do you call a bench full of white people?

The NBA

Why Aren't There Riots When White People Get Killed?

Because white people have work in the morning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do...

We shoot each other in school because we have class

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer

Wait. Never mind. That wasn’t my waiter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's something white people can cook better than black people?

Father's day dinner

Sure, white people can't say the "N word" but.

atleast we can say phrases like, "Thanks for the warning, Officer" and, "Hey, Dad."

I love how they say that white people have no culture

Yet who came up with the most used word in rap songs?

What do you call 64 white people in a room?

One full blooded Cherokee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did some White people back then hate Black people?

Because they’re pale in comparison

I am sick of people claiming that white people can't dance

Have they never heard of Michael Jackson?

Why do the Native Americans hate when white people ask to use their WiFi?

They're taking all their LAN!

I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me

who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady say...

I never interfere when two white people fight.

Because it’s already a fair fight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do black people wear hoodies more than white people?

Black people wear them outdoors, on the streets while white people wear them indoors at their weekly meetings.

They say white people can't jump.

Well, I just got jumped by 3 of them, so I beg to differ.

They tried to warn us, it's finally happening, minorities herding white people into camps.

Here in Oregon we call them "music festivals"

Deep in the Amazon jungle, a tribe witnessed white people for the first time...

...and immediately regretted installing TikTok.

Anybody know some white people jokes?

I'm an avid racist and like to have plenty of denigrating jokes at the ready for any particular race. Sadly I know very few targeted at Caucasians, and the ones I do know make them look sorta good (rich, stable, part of ruling elite). Anybody know any jokes that poke fun at being white?

I never understood why white people can’t say the n-word

I mean we’re the ones who invented it after all

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are school shooters more likely to be white people?

White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood.

I need some white people jokes!

I would especially love to hear these from someone of a different race. It's my birthday and this would make it complete.

I don't really see many white people in London nowadays

Mainly because I've never been to London, though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

20 black people, 13 Jewish people, 18 Chinese people, 10 Russians and 26 white people are in a bar...

It's crowded.

Remember when OJ Simpson was found innocent and all of us white people hit the street looting and damaging property?!

Oh, that's right, we didn't...

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