Aryan Jokes - 37 Hilarious Aryan Jokes

Why did Germany invade Hungary in WW2

They were jealous of the Hung-Aryans

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One of Hitler’s officer’s walked into Hitler’s office and asked, “Mein Fuhrer, what is the key to our plan to create an Aryan race?

Hitler responded: Concentration, my friend.

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Why do retired Nazis make good animal doctors?

Because they're all Veteran Aryans.

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Several of Hitlers Generals disappeared after the war, and became animal doctors.

Because they were Veteran Aryans.

What is the favorite Christmas Carol of the Aryan brotherhood?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

What do you call a bunch of blondes chasing each other down the street?

The Aryan race.

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Are the Nazis who fought in WWII veteran-Aryans?

And can I bring my dog to them for a checkup?

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Three Nazis walk into a bar

Three Nazis walk into a bar.

Their commanding officer walks up to the bartender and says,

"Congratulations, you are now a member of the German Army. Your first order is to kill everyone in this room who is not Aryan".

The bartender complies. He takes a m...

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What do you call a Nazi soldier who decides to devote himself to animals?

A VeteranAryan

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What's the difference between an animal doctor and an ex nazi?

One's a veterinarian, and the other's an aryan veteran

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Did you know that Hitler was in dire need of a pedicure while he was leader of the third reich?

He was a toe-talon-aryan

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A true nazi joke

You can only be considered a true aryan when you are as thin as Göring, as handsome as Goebbels and as blonde as Hitler.

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Did you hear about the Nazi soldier who became an animal doctor?

He was a veteran Aryan

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Hitler's diet was the result of an inferiority complex

He was never going to be a true Aryan, but he could at least be vegetaryan.

I met this european guy last night who claimed he was a well endowed white supremacist

Well, he said he was a hung aryan

I was bitten by a Great White at a Florida beach.

I mean, he used the phrase "Aryan Superior," but either way that was one coked-out skinhead.

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Who keeps order in a nazi school?

A dissipline Aryan

I once knew an old German soldier who took to caring for sick animals when he retired from the armed forces.

I suppose you could say he was a Veteran Aryan.

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What would Hitler be called if he entered into Japan unlawfully?

An illegal Aryan.

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Why did the Nazi fräulein move to Budapest?

She heard there were hung Aryans.

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Where did Hitler’s German Shepards go after the war?

To the veteran-aryan

My dog needed a checkup, so I Googled a place nearby. But when I got there, it was just this blonde white guy in army camo covered in swastika tattoos.

Stupid Google found me a veteran aryan.

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(Worst Joke) Why did Hitler open the window?

To let fresh aryan

Why do dogs live so long in Germany?

Because of all the Veteran Aryans.

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Where did Hitler take his sick German Shepherd?

To the veteran-aryan

What do you call the Asian-Mexican master race from outer space?

Illegal Aryans

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Why did Hitler's SS soldiers love animals?

They were all veteran aryans

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Creation of the German-Japanese Alliance, 1940

Hirohito: Thank you for phone call Mr. Fuhrer. We ask you now: you said you Aryans?

Hitler: Ja! Ze superior race! We are invincible! We will abduct your inferior race for our experiments! With our advanced weaponry we will take over zis world!

Hirohito: Very well. No more question. Th...

A man from Hungary is fighting a well-endowed German

It's a Hungarian vs. a Hung-Aryan

What did the blonde haired, blue eyed soldier become when he left the army?

A veteran aryan.

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Why did Hitler invade Hungary?

Because he can't resist a HungAryan :)

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Some historic anti-Nazi jokes from Germany

Hey there. I thought, I'll take the time and translate you some of the so-called "Flüsterwitze"(whisper jokes) from nazi Germany.

* The old code of law seems to complicated, so it has to be changed. From now on, there are only three laws: 1. If you do something, or fail to do something, you ...

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This really isn't a good joke but...

In an alternate universe, Hitler gains power of the whole world (somehow) and he is so full of himself, he changes the official title of a man from mister to the first 3 letters of his name.

In this alternate universe, Hitler doesn't believe in Aryan supremacy but supports LGBT (bear with me)...

What do you call a white supremacist that doesn't eat meat?

A VegitAryan

This has nothing to with the current political climate. I work with several vegetarians and we were talking about food today and it the joke just hit me.

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Still a work in progress, but original

Theres a Chinese guy and an American guy sitting outside when all of the sudden the Chinese guy looks up in the sky and says "omg Aryans!"
The American guy says " those arent Nazi's, those are aliens!"

A middle school band director named Joe is having trouble instructing his students to play their instruments.

One girl is being extremely difficult and cannot play the flute to save her life. Finally he walks over to her and hits her in the head with her flute, killing her. She dies instantly and he is sentenced to death by electrocution. The warden asks what he would like his last meal to be. Joe says "I'd...

I heard this one from a friend...

A blonde enters a parallel universe where the Aryan's are considered a minority. She walks into an appliance store, approaches the man behind the counter, and says "I'd like that TV please." The cashier replies "Sorry, we don't serve blondes."

The next day, she woke up, filled her hair with c...

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