This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car...

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a

car...



... And they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heise...

What's the difference between watts and ohms?

Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.

Why did Mr. Ohm marry Mrs. Ohm?

Because he couldn't resistor...



Happy Dad's Day!

What does an electrician say when he eats dinner? Ohm, ohm, ohm

Ohm, ohm, ohm

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Werner Heisenberg, Georg Ohm, Galileo Galilei, Max Planck, and Louis de Broglie were carpooling to work...

...when they got pulled over for speeding. However, when the police officer tried to ask them how fast they were going, he couldn't get a straight answer, and the group was so rowdy that they had to be brought in for questioning.

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

If you think you wrote a great letter, add a footnote at the end which explains Ohm’s Law.

Then it’ll be your P.S. de resistance.

Did you know?

According to Ohm's law, the best way to get an answer is to post an incorrect answer online, and someone will eventually correct you.

Electrician comes home late

Wife: Wire you insulate?

Electrician: Watt? I'm ohm now, ain't I?

My friend got a job at the power plant.

He now refers to his occupation as a “ohm maker”

The country of Ohms is run by a brutal dictator.

Due to the suppression of their rights, the citizens of Ohms frequently rise up and attempt to storm the gates of the capital city. However, the dictator always has just the right number of mercenaries to repel the rebels and cause the survivors to disperse for a few months or so.

The dictat...

I caught my daughter chewing on an electrical cable.

So I had to ground her and kept her at ohm

She's doing better currently .

And conducting herself properly

Best dad joke I ever came up with: What do you call a resistor that doesn't work?

Ohm-less

What do you call Ohm wearing sunglasses?

Cool-Ohm

Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests

Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

Why did the ohm swim to the other side of the river?

Because there was too much resistance.

So an electrical engineer built a house entirely out of resistors.

The welcome mat said Ohm Sweet Ohm.

Someone should make an electronics shop that sells resistors and call it:

The Ohm Depot

Ohm's Girlfriend was a vixen

He couldn't resistor

Meditation

Why does meditation get so much resistance?

Because there's too many Ohms.

What do you call a detective electrician?

Sherlock Ohms

Why should you always rent, rather than buy, a multimeter that measures ohms?

Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.

Why are monks so good at protesting?

The more ohms you have, the greater the resistance.

I fell in love with a female electrician

She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the cockney hobo who offered no resistance to electrical current?

He was ohm-less.

Moms being Moms

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...

What is a resistors favorite breakfast?

An Ohm-let

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual reunion of all time greats.......

\* Newton said he'd drop in.
\* Socrates said he'd think about it.
\* Ohm resisted the idea.
\* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
\* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
\* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
\* Volta was electrified at the prospe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke I'm sure you've heard it before.

So Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are in a car driving down the freeway when a cop pulls them over. The cop comes to the window and asks,

"Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "No but I know exactly where I am."

"You were doing 120mph in a 60mph zone!" Say...

I robbed an ohmless man last night.

There was no resistance

What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

(Ω_Ω) for those moments, when you go..

"ohm eye God"

What do you call a physicist that’s 1/4 Hispanic?

Ohm slice

My electricity bill was running suspiciously high

Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.

What did the resistor say to the capacitor after he beat him in a game?

I ohmed you!

(my 10 year came up with this when I was teaching him soldering)

What social media site does an electrician use

Ohmegle

What did the voltage say to the current?

What's up, ohmie?

What did the monks chant during the electric boogie danceoff?

Ohm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four scientists are driving down the road, when...

Four famous scientists are driving together and get pulled over.

The cop walks up and yells at the driver, "You were going 100 miles an hour!" Heisenberg throws up his hands and yells back, "Great! Now I'm lost."

"What's in that garbage bag you're holding?" the cop asks the front passe...

After yoga class, everyone was feeling a bit hungry

...so we all agreed to go grab a bite together but as we went to invite our instructor, he was in such a deep trance that his only response was a long drawn "ohm" constant throughout his breathing.

We tried for a good twenty minutes before finally his eyes rolled opened and his smile shined b...

What do you call an electrical engineer trying to solve an issue?

Sherlock Ohms

What happened to the super-conductor when he lost his job?

He was made ‘ohm-less’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Sexual Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor

One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and ro...

Where do electricians get supplies?

The Ohm Depot.

Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry?

they have too many ohms to be good conductors.

Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician?

Apparently he's now ohm-less.

What does the electron say to the resistor?

Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.