Whirring Jokes

She came over and said hi to me and I was taken aback because I couldn't recall where I knew her from.

So I asked her, “Sorry, do I know you?”

She replied, “Yes, I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

My mind was whirring now and it traveled back to the only time I have e... read more

Guy walks into a bar and sees a machine in the corner labeled "The Fortune Teller". He asks the bartender what it does. The bartender says, "You put in a dollar and get a cup. Go piss in the cup, put it back in the machine and it'll tell you your fortune ...and it's never wrong." The guy replies "Bu... read more

Six was never the same after the war. The metallic clang of a dumpster closing and a garbage truck in the morning would bring him back to the enemy tanks running over innocent houses and villages whilst he and his surviving mates hid cowering in the bushes waiting for the metallic monstrosities to p... read more

A man saves up his entire life to buy a ferrari. He goes to the dealership and chooses a red one. As he pulls out of the parking lot he comes to a red light. As he is waiting for the light to change he sees a fat kid pull up next to him on a moped. The kid grins at him showing his puffy cheeks and s... read more

He says to his friend, "Geez, my elbow aches. I think I should see a doctor about this".

The friend says, "Well before you do, why don't you try that machine in the locker room. You pee in a cup, and it writes you a prescription!"

Although skeptical, the man agrees to try out the machi... read more

So Tom goes to his doctor for his annual physical while sitting in the examining room he notices a large machine with a lot of lights and buttons looking more complicated than the space shuttle cockpit.
The doctor walks in and explains that the this new machine can diagnose every possible ailmen... read more

The woman can't believe her luck, and runs inside. On the first floor, there is a sign that reads:

"Welcome to the Husband Store! There are 9 floors in all, but be warned: once you go past a floor, you're not allowed to go back down. You either make a purchase, or leave empty handed."

... read more