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A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage.

(Disclaimer: I believe this is OC because I heard it in Cantonese and I've translated it, so also, apologies for bad English)

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage. At gunpoint, he forces the two to sit on chairs facing the opposite way, back to each other,...

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A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...

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A bricklayer has an accident at work and is being investigated, as the insurance company doesn't believe his injuries are real. They demand that he send them a description of the accident.

So he writes:

"I'm a bricklayer by trade. I had finished building the guard rail on the roof of the building. I use a barrel and pulley system to raise supplies up to the roof, and loaded the barrel up with the leftover bricks and my tools, weighing approximately 300 lbs, and then went below ...

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What does a true Scot keep under his kilt?

A Scotsman is at a festival, and he comes dressed in his best kilt (worn properly, of course). As the festival proceeds, the Scot starts to get very drunk, and so he sits under a tree with his beer mug and falls asleep. A couple of "pretty lasses" walk by and see the Scot passed out under the tree.<...

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There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy.

One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before.

...

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Typical bass players

A prominent orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. At one point in the final movement of the symphony, there is a long stretch--over 20 minutes--where the basses don't play a note. So, rather than just sit there, the section leader suggested that they sneak out of the orchestra and go ...

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A middle aged man is turning 40 and he's feeling severely depressed,

so he decides he'll treat himself to a prostitute. He and his companion for the evening retire to a motel room and he sits down on the side of the bed. The john starts untying his shoes and eventually slips off his socks.

In utter shock, the lady of the night gasps and says "What the fuck is ...

A spy is captured by terrorists in a hostile country. [Long]

The terrorists lock him in a windowless room with a chair, a table, and five items on the table. The terrorist comes in and says that each day, the man may pick one of the items to be removed. On the last day, the terrorists will kill him with the remaining item. The spy looks at the table to see a ...

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