Last night I accidentally told my son he was an unplanned pregnancy.

Mistakes were made.

What is it called when two flowers have an unplanned pregnancy?

An Oopsie-daisy!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I had an unplanned talk with my 13 years old son about masturbation yesterday...

I told him it was a perfectly natural thing to do and that he should knock before he enters my room.

In grammar school, most unplanned pregnancies happen early on

...before anyone knows how to use the colon.

With all my high level degrees and PHD's, I stumbled upon these questions.........

1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?...

During the cold war

The USSR had an epidemic of unplanned pregnancies, so they unwillfuly asked the US for aid since they dudnt had the technology to produce good condoms. They didn't wanted to look weak so they asked for 1 billion 11 inch condoms. The Americans got their request and didn't wanted to look weak either, ...

Emergency landing . . .

At 8PM one night, a pilot who had run out of fuel made an emergency landing at a top-secret government base. He was quickly surrounded by security and taken inside to be interrogated. The interrogation was grueling because the interrogators wanted to make sure it was an unplanned landing and that th...

A child talking with his mom..

Child: mom, my friends told me that my birth was unplanned and that you and my dad didn't really want me as a son, is that true?

Mom: hey, don't call me "mom" in public....

I like my children how I like my essays.

Unplanned and poorly executed

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