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Unannounced Jokes

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.


"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.


"But you're naked!"...

My nutritionist showed up at my door unannounced!

I didn’t ‘vitamin.

What do you call someone who invites themselves over, unannounced, and wants to work out with you?

A Jehovah Fitness.

The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt.

As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest.
Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger.
The cook proceeded t...

A man brings his buddy home for dinner unannounced at 6:30 after work.

His wife screams at him as his friend listens in: “My hair and make up are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas, and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for?!”

The husband says: “Because he’s thinking of get...

Tell me if this isn't immature. I'm in the bathtub,minding my own business,and my girlfriend comes in, totally unannounced...

And sinks all of my boats and my rubber ducky! Immature,huh?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Anakin see when he walked in on his master unannounced?

Obi wankin' Obi

Got home unannounced from college to find my parents had taken a vacation and not left the keys behind. Not a problem though, all I’ve got to do is talk to the door lock...

... because communication is key

A Jewish woman wants her son to have a bris but her Christian husband is against it

She goes against his wishes and has a secret bris.

The husband shows up unannounced and everyone in the synagogue is in shock.

The mother gasps, "How did you know?!"

The father replies "I could see it coming a mohel away."

My gf is so immature.

She walks into the bathroom while I'm taking a bath,totally unannounced,and sinks all of my boats.Is it just me,or is that just totally immature.I was thinking about telling her mom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was humping his secretary in his office up her ass when....

His wife walks in on them unannounced.

Horrified, she screams " Honey, you can't do this to me".

Man calmly replies"Right, that's why I am doing it to her".

NSFW a young man is in his room

Discovering himself, pulling his pud, jacking off, choking his chook or whatever. His dad busts in unannounced and mortified yells”SON DON’T DO THAT YOU’LL GO BLIND!” To which the son replies “.....um dad, I’m over here.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Health Violation

A man orders a hot dog with relish from a street vendor. The vendor grabs the dog with his bare hands and puts it on a bun. He then applies the relish with his fingers. The man pulls out a badge and says, "I'm the health inspector and I'm shutting you down!" The vendor pleads with the inspector and ...

A man and his son stumble upon two dogs humping...

When the little boy asks his dad what the dogs are doing, he explains that they're making puppies.

Later that night, the man and his wife are going at it hot and heavy in the bedroom. The little boy stumbles in unannounced. In a panic, the parents hurriedly gather themselves.

The boy a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blonde woman's cheating husband

A woman suspects her husband is cheating, and after a few weeks, she decides to purchase a gun and try to catch him in the act. One day, she comes home unannounced and actually catches him in bed with a brunette woman. The blonde immediately pulls out her gun, shoots the brunette, and turns the gun ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope comes to visit

A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours.

The priest agrees.

The fisherman asks if the priest has ev...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe returns home from basic training.

Joe finishes his basic training for the Army, and decides to surprise his family by coming home unannounced. His family is shocked, but everyone is happy to have him back home. After dinner, his mother and siblings head for bed, and Joe and his father remain at the table to have a couple beers and...

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