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Truths Jokes

There are three truths in religion:

1) Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.


2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.


3) Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

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Some Religious Truths

TAOISM: Shit happens

ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?

PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else

ATHEISTS: Shit happens for no apparent reason

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say...

Fighting Against Real Truths

I thought I knew what you really were
I thought you could ease my pain
Put an end to all this aching
And make me laugh again

I've known your kind before
I thought you weren't the same
Just trying to get in my pants
And fill my head with shame

I've held onto you for to...

The other day I was playing 2 truths and a lie.

Well, technically I was testifying in a murder trial.

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Simple Truths 1 & 2

SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say,
"Congrats ".
But ...

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Yesterday I dissolved a Viagra in my mouth just to see what would happen. I didn't get an erection,...

...but I did tell a few people some hard truths.

I took a class recently on the history of food preservation.

In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy to mold/shape, and didnā€™t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.

Things went great for a while, with some food...

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