Tightens Jokes - 8 Hilarious Tightens Jokes

What do call a rope that tightens itself?

Self-taut.

A blonde and brunette rob a bank

A blonde and brunette decide to rob a bank. "So you remember the plan?" the brunette asks. The blonde smiles and nods. "I'll keep the car ready.. Good luck!"

The blonde runs in, mask on, and pistol in one hand. 5 minutes pass and nothing. The brunette glances at her watch nervously. 10...

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What do you call a bra that tightens the more you try to take it off?

A booby trap!

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The organs of the body are trying to decide who should be in charge, the brain says 'I control all the information to and from the body, I'm the obvious choice' the lungs say 'well you can't do any of that without me, so I should lead' finally the says 'I do waste disposal, I should lead' ...

All the other organs laugh at the , in protest the tightens right up. Soon the lungs and brain feel awful and are struggling to work, as are all the other organs, to appease the they name it in charge.

Moral of the story is, the is always in charge.

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A woman goes to the doctor asking if there's anything he can do about her wrinkles

Doc: There is a new procedure we can try, it involves putting a little key behind your ear and every time you see a wrinkle appear you turn the key and it tightens and lifts the skin.
Woman: Sounds good I'll have the surgery.
The woman has the operation and about 6 months later she's b...

A man breaks down on a country road in Ireland and hears a voice.

He opens opens his bonnet/hood and looks at the engine. He knows nothing about cars and has no hope of fixing it, then he hears a voice "Check the alternator"....Where the hell did that voice come from, he looks round and leaning over a gate is a huge white horse looking at him "Check the alternator...

My first joke - don't crucify me please

Mac decided to go to the shooting range with his friend. Having never shot a gun before, he is a little nervous that he'll embarrass himself by performing poorly at the range but his friend reassures him that he'll do alright. Once they arrive they make their way to the back where the instructor is ...

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A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits......

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he is on the stool next to her.

They talk for about fifteen minutes...

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