The Hobbit Jokes - 29 Hilarious The Hobbit Jokes

According to 'The Hobbit', Gollum was once a normal man.

The biggest mistake he made was putting on that ring, which drained him of his youth, vitality, and energy.

I got one of those when I was married.

I dreamt that I wrote the Hobbit the other day

Turns out I was just Tolkien in my sleep

Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

Just bought the extended version of The Hobbit.

Bilbo is 7' 6" now.

Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded.

They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.

Why couldn't the hobbit go into the bathroom?

Because it was orcuppied.

Best films of all time Lord of the rings and the Hobbit trilogies...

Now that's what I'm Tolkien about.

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

What did the Hobbits scream as they were riding the Ents into battle against Isengard?

Run, Forest, run!

A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar...

The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

Why couldn't the hobbits fly the Eagles to Mordor?

Because they were on tour and only got back at the end.

The hobbits Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, sat in Fangorn Forest to hear the first annual post-Sauron "Ent Comedy Jam" .... (An original LOTR-themed meta-joke for you.)

The hobbits Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, sat in Fangorn Forest to hear the first annual post-Sauron "Ent Comedy Jam."

With them was Gandalf, returned from over Sea with Frodo in tow just for the occasion. No one in living memory – at least now that the elves were all in the Undying Lands to...

A man went to the movie..

A man went to the movie theater's ticket window a second time and said, "One more."

"For The Hobbit?" the ticket vendor asked.

"No," the man replied, "That's my girlfriend."

Didja hear the one about the hobbit who ruined the boxing match?

He tried to destroy the ring.

I think three movies is a bit much for the hobbit.

Seems like they're really dragon it out.

Sauron tortures a hobbit.

Sauron captured Bilbo Baggins and tried to torture him to tell where the magic ring was hidden. Soon the hobbit blurted out "I think Gollum has it!"

Then Sauron captured Gollum and tortured him, but the old evil and corrupted hobbit wouldn't talk.

It turns out bad hobbits are hard to...

People have been so nice lately that Ive begun to give them a copy of The Hobbit every time.

You know, as a Tolkien of my appreciation.

Ringwraiths

My daughter watching Lord of the rings:

D: “So the hobbits call the nazgul the black riders right?”

Me: “yeah”

D: “the nazgul are like: ‘yo, that’s wraithist’”

Cue facepalm.

Gandalf decided to go to the Shire, and to his surprise found Frodo and Sam making meth.

Gandalf decided to go to the Shire, and to his surprise found Frodo and Sam making meth.

"Why would you ever do such a thing!" He exclaimed.

"Well you see Mr Gandalf, after our adventure we haven't been able to feel the euphoria of being a hero until we tried this wonderful magic crys...

Why did the hobbit fall

He had a Frodoian slip

Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A.

Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug.

I was once obsessed with "The Lord of the Rings". The books, the movies, the collectables, everything.

Finally I was able to kick the hobbit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was trying to sleep last night. Here's what happened.

Some dude has this bed right beside mine, and he randomly started saying this:

"I was born in 1892 in Bloemfontein. I wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings..."

For fuck's sake he was Tolkien in his sleep!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] An Orc and an Elf are sitting at a tavern looking at a pretty hobbit girl.

"I took her on a date last night," bragged the Orc.
"And she let me reach under the table and diddle her hairy twat!"

"Liar." Says the Elf.
"It's true! She loved it. Go ask her." Says the Orc.

So the Elf approaches the pretty Hobbit.
"Is it true that you went on a date with t...

A new redditor comes to r/jokes

"Welcome!" Exclaims r/jokes.

"Hi," says the redditor, "tell me a funny joke please."

"Alright. Let me see what i can find." Replys r/jokes before heading off

While the redditor waits they, binge the entirety of Game of Thrones, watch the entire extended directors cut of...

I was buying tickets with a friend at the cinema

Staff: "for the hobbit?"

Me. : "no, she's my friend"

I'd like two tickets, please.

- Is it for The Hobbit?

- No, she's my girlfriend.

A tale of Middle Earth

In the land of Gondor there lived one of the most renowned gardeners in all of Middle Earth.

All the various people would come to Master Kizal for healing herbs that could be found nowhere except his gardens. The Elves would come to him for rare tree saplings and advice on how to care f...

Library Inventory

A librarian in a small book collection is just finishing up the process of cataloging his physical inventory and is combing through the stacks to double-check his work. Suddenly, he sees a bit of crinkled cover just peeking out behind a shelf in the very back of the building. Confused, he steps quie...

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