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Gollum Jokes

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The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

Edit: Apparently somebody posted this joke to Twitter in October and that makes me a piece of shit.

¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.









Edit: Swigity Swoo, I got a silver from you?

Edit: Golly Gee, a gold for me?

Edit: Boo hoo, a baby snoo too?

Edit: Cowabunga Grift, I got a coin gift!

Edit: Beagle pup, here comes a bless up!

No matter how much I torture him, Gollum won’t tell me where the Ring is.

Bad hobbits are really hard to break.

I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...

Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...

What would Gollums name be...

... if he were from Mexico?



Smiguel.

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

What is Gollum's favorite food?

Hot Pocketses

Why does SmĂŠagol like to be called Gollum?

It has a nice ring to it

What’s Gollum‘s favourite horror movie?

The Ring

What do you call a group of Gollums?

A flock of smeogols.

Sauron tortures a hobbit.

Sauron captured Bilbo Baggins and tried to torture him to tell where the magic ring was hidden. Soon the hobbit blurted out "I think Gollum has it!"

Then Sauron captured Gollum and tortured him, but the old evil and corrupted hobbit wouldn't talk.

It turns out bad hobbits are hard to...

Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA.

- The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring

The Chancellor of Germany, Prince Harry's wife, and the actor who played Gollum should set up an emporium of pubic wigs in Sarkel, Russia

...and call it "Merkel, Markle and Serkis' Sarkel Merkin Circus"

Fellowship of the ring

As the fellowship of the ring was being formed Bilbo had been eavisdropping outside of the meeting, not being able to help his curiosity.
He had heard young Frodo take upon himself the burden of the ring, Sam, Merry and Pippin joining him on the foolish quest. Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Boromir ...

The two best racehorses in the country.

There were these two racehorses, Galem and Gollum. They were raised together and had been racing side by side their entire lives. Everyone loved to watch them. They were always faster than the other horses; as a matter of fact, they were the best racehorses in the country.



As good as ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think my friend might be gay

I went over to his house to watch Lord of the Rings, anyway do you remember how it begins with Bilbo celebrating his 111th birthday in the shire, reuniting with his old friend, Gandalf, Bilbo reveals that he intends to leave the Shire for one last adventure, and he leaves his inheritance, including ...

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