This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Make sure the intercom is switched off!

The plane lands and the pilot gives his usual speech, but he forgets to switch off the intercom.

The co-pilot asks the pilot what he has planned for the evening.

The pilot replies, “first I am going to shit, then I am gonna bang the shit out of the new stewardess”

The stewarde...

It was very difficult to switch off my wife's life support system.

You try fighting off 2 nurses, a doctor and my sons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said "If you switch off the light, I will take it up the ass." She let out a scream.

Maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first...

It was extremely difficult to switch off my mother in law’s life support system.

I had to fight the doctor, my wife, and her siblings to finally do it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Few Saturdays I switch off the light and stay the whole night in darkness

So that the neighbors might think that I've an active social life...

Sometimes I just like to switch off

I think that's why I lost my job in the Intensive Care Unit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Timmy was in the classroom...

...and the principal was observing. The teacher asked pupils to give examples of food.

So all the pupils raised their hands.

"Pears" - said Mary.

"Bananas" - said John.

"Oranges" - said Sara.

and it went on like this for a while. "Very well" - said the teacher, rea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pilot left his microphone on.

After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot
' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'.

An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone.

When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'.

Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the light!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pilot

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today
and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area".

He forgets to switch off the inte...

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A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris...

A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris when it encountered some heavy turbulence over the Atlantic. The captain has a decade of flying under his belt and manages to get through the turbulence without any major incidents.

He then switches on the intercom and says, “This is your captai...

How do you end two deaf persons' arguing?

Switch off the light.

Why do Hanzo players have such high electric bills?

They never switch off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pilot on a commercial flight is giving his usual landing spiel...

... "we are expected to arrive at 7:00PM, the temperature on the ground is 12 degrees, thank you for flying" etc etc.

After he’s done, though, he forgets to turn the comms switch off. His co-pilot sighs and say to him, ‘so what are you up to tonight then?’

The pilot replies: “well firs...

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