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Switch Off Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Make sure the intercom is switched off!

The plane lands and the pilot gives his usual speech, but he forgets to switch off the intercom.

The co-pilot asks the pilot what he has planned for the evening.

The pilot replies, “first I am going to shit, then I am gonna bang the shit out of the new stewardess”

The stewarde...

It was very difficult to switch off my wife's life support system.

You try fighting off 2 nurses, a doctor and my sons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pilot left his microphone on.

After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot
' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'.

An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone.

When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said "If you switch off the light, I will take it up the ass." She let out a scream.

Maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first...

Sometimes I just like to switch off

I think that's why I lost my job in the Intensive Care Unit

It was extremely difficult to switch off my mother in law’s life support system.

I had to fight the doctor, my wife, and her siblings to finally do it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Few Saturdays I switch off the light and stay the whole night in darkness

So that the neighbors might think that I've an active social life...

Me: I don’t think we should see each other anymore.

Her: Please stop saying that every time you switch off the lights at night.

What did the very lazy husband say to his very lazy wife when he saw her yawning ?

"Now that your mouth is already open, call our son to switch off the light".

How do you end two deaf persons' arguing?

Switch off the light.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach.

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto".

He forgot to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The ...

Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the light!

Why do Hanzo players have such high electric bills?

They never switch off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris...

A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris when it encountered some heavy turbulence over the Atlantic. The captain has a decade of flying under his belt and manages to get through the turbulence without any major incidents.

He then switches on the intercom and says, “This is your captai...

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