God’s last name

Isn’t “damnit”

What is Yoda’s last name?

LeHehu

Did you hear of the man with the same first and last name?

It was a Nguyen, Nguyen situation.

I can't thank you enough for telling me Yoda's last name!

Yoda Man!

Anyone who’s last name is King has royal blood pumping through their veins including me...

I am Joe King.

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Some last names originate from what the family did in the past...

Makes you wonder about the Dickinsons...

Last Name Only !

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.



“What’s your name?” he asked the new guy.



“John,” the new guy replied.



The manager scowled, “Look... I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you work...

Now that I have officially divorced my wife, and she has chosen to keep my last name.

I wanted to be clear that you cannot trust a word she says.

Regards,

Mr Information.

Security question: What was the last name of your first grade teacher?

My first grade teacher hacking my bank account: I'm in

This whole time yoda has never revealed his last name. but I just found out

Layheehoo

Did you see they went back and found yoda’s last name?

LayHeeWho

Disney finally released Yoda's last name. His full name is:

Yoda Lay-Heehoo

I've heard the Canadian Prime-Minister has a French last name.

Is this Trudeau?

A guy with an unfortunate last name...(long format)

Joins the army. His last name has the odd distinction of having two z's at the start of it and since everything in the military is done alphabetically hes always the last guy in line.

One day their sergeant gets the entire company together for training:

"Alright! We're gonna have you a...

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It's cool that last names tell us about old family professions

Like the Smith family were blacksmiths


and the Bowman family were archers


and the Dickinson family... well they were in jail

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In class we learned that last names were determined by what your ancestors did

So I always made sure I kept my distance from my teacher Mr Dickinson

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What was the Virgin Mary's last name?

Christmas.


(Have a good one, reddit!)

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If someone has the Last Name "Smith" then that means that one of their ancestors was likely a Blacksmith.

Which kinda puts John Dickinson in an awkward position.

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Back in the day last name said something about your profession...

The Smiths would hammer away creating armor and weapons as blacksmiths. The Fishers would navigate the seas in search as fishermen. And The Dickinsons, well no one really knew what they did.

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If people whose last name is Mason came from stone workers and people with the last name Taylor came from tailors...

then I don't want to know what the Dickinson family used to do.

I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China"

It was her made-in name

When can a man and a woman have the same last name?

Teenagers: brother and sister

Adults: husband and wife

Alabama: yes

I should change my last name to Bull.

But I'm not going to as it would make this a Terry Bull joke!

Why does the FCC Chairman have the last name "Pai"?

Because he is irrational...

My family's last name is 'Expectation'

The entire family is currently in the hospital because of my stepdad, he started with me and said that for once in his life he'd beat all expectations

If our last names came from the jobs of our ancestors...

Then I feel really bad for the boys of the "Dickinson" family tree.

"You have a weird last name!"

....is what she said to him. He replied,

"Well, it's pretty common in my family"

What did Han Solo’s last name change too after he married Leia?

Han Duet.

Besides their last name, what does Wiz Khalifa and the Burj Khalifa have in common?

They're the highest things on this planet.

Why did I change my last name?

SO my wife could have Ms. Carriage

Can someone please tell me Voldemorts last name

My friends talk in riddles

I found out Moe’s real last name from “The Simpsons”

Lester.

What was Popeye's last name?

Pimento, because he comes in an Olive.

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"My last name is Smith, because my dad was a blacksmith." "My last name is Fisher, because my dad was a fisherman."

"My last name is Dickinson, and I dont like this game"

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Last names can tell you a bit about your family’s past.

Like, Carpenter - your family probably made houses/worked with wood. Shoemaker - made shoes.

There must have been a pretty dark day in the history of the Dickensons.

Is your last name Ghandi?

Because you're Mah Hot Ma

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Yoda's last name?

"Lay Hee Whooo!"

Guys, I'm so sorry for posting this but my wife turned to me and asked this in all seriousness, then laughed her ass off when she told me the punchline. She's super proud of her terrible joke, and no I don't think Yoda is a Swiss mountain climber, I'm actually just really hap...

We were discussing last names when my friend David Meth said..

Every girl I’ve slept with has done Meth.

My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything.

You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

I changed my last name to 'Batman' the day before my wedding

My Father-in-Law didn't enjoy the wedding of Dan and Anna BATMAN.

I met a man with the last name Popcorn. He said he was in the military...

He was a kernel.

I wish my last name was Wong

Because when I get married and have a kid I can name them Right to say that 2 Wongs do make a Right

Can you imagine referring to philosophers by their first initial and last name?

Because I Kant.

We should treat David like his last name

And Leavitt alone.

There's a family with the last name Joke who have these creepy stalker impostors, when one day, the Joke family sees some shooting stars while on a road trip and disappear.

The news breaks that this family had disappeared while driving on the road. The search begins and they find a car similar to the one Mr. Joke was driving. They open and find who they believe to be the Jokes. They interview them but the story seems to be inconsistent with the actual event. They get D...

History teaches us that people developed their last names in ancient times for doing what they were known for in a village.

If, for example, your last name is "Smith" then chances are your family line had some artisan blacksmiths to boot.

I wonder what the last name "Dickinson" meant for people back in those days?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If some last names were an ancestor's profession (Baker, Cobbler)

How do you explain Dickinson?

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Ever notice how strippers' last names are always things they can't afford?

Like Katie Diamond, or Sugar Health-Insurance

Can you beat my top 3 Polish jokes?

>What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

>Did you hear about the Polish carpool?

They meet at work in the morning

>Did you heal about the Polish terrorist that tried to blow up the bus?

He burnt his lips on the ...

Alabama, the land of 5 million people...

...and 4 last names.

I am married to a Korean wife and she told me I get to name our son's English name

We live in Korea and gave our son my wife's last name 모 (pronounced 'mo').

I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.

So when I go around and introduce my child I could say

"This is our child 모 Lester"

What does a Polish woman get on her wedding night that is LONG and HARD?

A new last name

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this kid named Jackson . . .

Jackson is about to have his first day of kindergarten.

He knows his name. He's like 5 or 6, or whatever age kindergartners are. They all know their names. That's important.

So Jackson goes into his class. His parents drop him off or whatever. Class starts and the teacher starts doing ...

A frog goes into a bank

“What can I help you with?” asks the Teller.

“I’d like to apply for a loan” says the frog.

“Oh” says the Teller “you need to speak with our Loan Officer, Miss Whack”.

The Teller leads the frog to Miss Whacks office and, informs her that the frog wants to apply for a loan. “What ...

A cop stops a Harley for travelling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name

'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a
break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then
presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that h...

How can you get paid to do nothing?

Change your last name to kardashian.

A woman goes into a restaurant with 15 kids.



The kids start goofing around while she's talking to the waitress. The mom gets impatient and yells, "Eddy! Stop that! Or else!" All 15 boys suddenly sit down, obedient and quiet.

The waitress asks, **"Did you really name all 15 of your boys Eddy?"**

"Yup," says the woman. "Mak...

a german kid fails his art class

and his dad changes his last name

Arnold Schwarzenegger's is long and hard. The president's is a 5. Madonna doesn't have one, and the Pope has one, but he doesn't use it.

A last name.

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Ancient History

Their usual English teacher was sick, and a substitute wanted to engage the class personally. "Tell me
what you last name is and tell you the story behind it".

Jack Faulkner was first. "Your great-great grand father must have trained falcons for a nobleman, to use in hunting
wild animal...

A woman is walking down the street when she bumps into an old friend she hasn't seen in a long time. They sit down on a bench and catch up on their lives.

Friend: So do you have any kids?

Woman: Yes, I have 5 boys.

Friend: Nice! What are their names?

Woman: Steve.

Friend: You mean... All of them are named Steve?

Woman: Exactly, it's so much easier that way! It's hard enough to supervise 5 boys playing together, it's ...

“What’s your name?" asked a policeman when he stopped me.



"Bartholomew." I said.



"And your last name?" he continued.



"It's always been Bartholomew." I said.

A cop pulls over a guy on a motorcycle...

and asks him for his name.

"My name is Ed." he said.

"Just Ed? no last name?"

"Just Ed."

"care to explain?" asked the cop.

"Well, it started a long time ago. I was Ed Johnson. As a kid, I always wanted to be a doctor. So I studied hard and finally graduated medic...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in 1920's...

...Mrs. Goldstein decided to leave NY for a vacation in Miami Beach. She decided to make a reservation at the Fountainebleu hotel (which at the time, infamously would not rent rooms to Jews or other minorities)

She got to the front desk and signs her name in the ledger. The clerk looks at her...

There was a man named John Odd

There was this man named John Odd, and he hated his last name.

People constantly made fun of it, called him and his wife "The Odd couple", named him "The Odd man out" wherever he went, all that.

So he's getting older and writes out his will. And in the will he says when he dies he doe...

The phone at a local bar started to ring

“Hello?” The bartender asked.

“Hi I’m looking for someone. Last name King, first name Joe?” The mysterious voice asked.

The bartender started to remember the mischievous pranks on TV that started like this. Angry, he started to go off, “Oh, so you think you’re funny, huh? You joking ar...

I feel sorry for people who's middle name initial is V...

Their first and last names are always fighting.

Alabama is so progressive that

the women don't even change their last names when they get married

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With the recent cuts to benefits all claims are being investigated, anything suspicious the claiments are invited in to explain.

In Chigwell Essex Tracey had her claim for 13 children flagged as suspicious, she went to the DWP to explain.

Benefits Advisor *“Tracey, I find it hard to believe you have 13 boys all the same name, doesn't it get confusing?”*

Tracey, *“Nah, its well easy, if they're out and I want t...

I have a friend named Jo.

He told me he would change his last name.
He came back, and I thought he was kidding, but he certainly wasn't Jo King when he said that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met my girlfriend in high school,

We were immediately best friends and spent days together having the most fun I had ever had. Then one day I asked her the question.

She said yes!

We were so happy together and we stayed together through high school. We both finished college together, we both got jobs together and event...

Hey, Terry

A woman walks into the Ipswich Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids...

"WOW," the social worker exclaims, "Are they ALL yours?

"Yeah they are all mine," the flustered mother sighs, having heard that

question a thousand times before.

She says, "Sit down Terry." All the ch...

Bob, Bob etc.

A redneck woman went to the school to register her boys.
The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.

"And what are their names?" he asked.

"Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and Bob."

"They're ALL named Bob?" he asked....

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