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Sublime Jokes

I'm about to be fired from a Sublime cover band...

I don't practice Santeria.

I think Sublime would make a great oncology team

They’d smoke two joints before they smoke two joints, and then they’d smoke tumor.

I've been trying to learn how to play Sublime songs on guitar...

I haven't made any progress yet because I don't practice Santeria.

Rick is sitting in his bar in Casablanca, enjoying the sublime beauty of geometry...

He raises his glass and says, "Here's looking at Euclid."

What’s the dominatrix lemon’s favorite band?

Sublime

My roommates have very strong opinions about lemons

One says lemons are the worst type of citrus.

One says lemons are the absolute best.

Both call them "sublime."

A Punny Punderwater Joke

What do you call an underwater citrus?



Sublime.

It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green.

That would've been sublime.

I've decided to rank fruits by how sour they are.

Pretty much all of them are sublime.

I've bought an underwater craft in a bright green colour.

It's sublime!

What do you call the lowest fruit on a lime tree?

Sublime

I remember having a dry ice presentation in middle school.

It was sublime.

Why does the yogi always meditate under the citrus tree?

It's a sublime spot

I was dared to eat a spoonful of dry ice.

It tasted sublime!

Scientists have discovered a fantastic new shade of the colour green.

Its sublime

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Linguists from France, Italy, and Germany were debating which language was the most beautiful.

The German representative was waving his hand frantically to be chosen to speak, when the French representative began to speak.

"French is certainly sublime. Consider the word Papillon. How could the word for butterfly be more beautiful than the butterfly itself”

The German is dying ...

Why do people like r/citrus?

It's sublime

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends go for a hike...

Two friends, Dave and Darren, go on an adventure hike which would last for months. Two months in they get a bit tired of each other and decide to split up for four days and rendezvous at a mutually known bar in a nearby town.

Four days later they meet up and are back in the groove. Dave goes...

A joke from George Carlin,tucked away because of 9/11

The most striking thing about the show is that Carlin made a joke about Osama bin Laden and an exploding airplane. In a fashion typical of the comedian, who always passed easily between the corporeal and the sublime, it started as a fart joke. “These planes get flying so fast that all the most vicio...

Two rabbis are at temple...

Two rabbis of great scholarly distinction are spending a quiet morning at Temple, enjoying peaceful contemplation in the near-empty building. Suddenly overwhelmed with spiritual exaltation, the first rabbi stands, and with his hands spread wide exclaimed, "Lord, I am nothing!", and with a deep brea...

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

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